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Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.

Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com> Thu, 29 September 2011 10:53 UTC

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Date: Thu, 29 Sep 2011 18:55:04 +0800
From: Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com>
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To: Zhen Cao <zehn.cao@gmail.com>
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Cc: draft-ietf-hokey-arch-design@tools.ietf.org, hokey@ietf.org, gwz@net-zen.net
Subject: Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
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Looks good to me.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Zhen Cao" <zehn.cao@gmail.com>
To: "Qin Wu" <bill.wu@huawei.com>
Cc: <hokey@ietf.org>; <draft-ietf-hokey-arch-design@tools.ietf.org>; <gwz@net-zen.net>
Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 5:42 PM
Subject: Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.


>
>> #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
>>
>> The first paragraph of section 3 says:
>>
>> This section investigates the design goals for the HOKEY
>> architecture. These include reducing the signaling overhead for
>> re-authentication and early authentication, integrating local
>> domain name discovery, and improving deployment scalability.
>> These goals supplement the discussion in [RFC5169].
>>
>> How should the last sentence be reworked?
>
> [Qin]: I don't see this is not a major issue. If more clarity is requested,
> I suggest to change it into
> "
> These goals supplement the goal discussion in the section 4 of [RFC5169].


[z] I propose to change this sentence to the following:

These goals are a supplement to what's discussed in Section 4 of RFC5169.

-- 
Best regards,
Zhen

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