Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.

Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com> Sat, 08 October 2011 02:45 UTC

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Date: Sat, 08 Oct 2011 10:48:50 +0800
From: Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com>
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To: Glen Zorn <glenzorn@gmail.com>
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Cc: draft-ietf-hokey-arch-design@tools.ietf.org, hokey@ietf.org, gwz@net-zen.net
Subject: Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
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Hi:
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Glen Zorn" <glenzorn@gmail.com>
To: "Qin Wu" <bill.wu@huawei.com>
Cc: <hokey@ietf.org>; <draft-ietf-hokey-arch-design@tools.ietf.org>; <gwz@net-zen.net>
Sent: Tuesday, October 04, 2011 5:13 PM
Subject: Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.


> On 9/28/2011 10:26 AM, Qin Wu wrote:
> 
>>> #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
>>>
>>> The first paragraph of section 3 says:
>>>
>>>    This section investigates the design goals for the HOKEY
>>>    architecture.  These include reducing the signaling overhead for
>>>    re-authentication and early authentication, integrating local
>>>    domain name discovery, and improving deployment scalability.
>>>    These goals supplement the discussion in [RFC5169].
>>>
>>> How should the last sentence be reworked?
>> 
>> [Qin]: I don't see this is not a major issue. 
> 
> Me, neither ;-).  The severity of Major was user error.
> 
>> If more clarity is requested,
>> I suggest to change it into
>> "
>> These goals supplement the goal discussion in the section 4 of [RFC5169].
>> "
> 
> Sounds good, but how about a slightly more polished version: "These goals
> supplement those discussed in Section 4 of RFC 5169 [RFC5169]."?

[Qin]: Your proposal is better.

> ...
>