Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.

[Glen Zorn <[e-mail]>]

On 9/28/2011 10:26 AM, Qin Wu wrote:

>> #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
>>
>> The first paragraph of section 3 says:
>>
>>    This section investigates the design goals for the HOKEY
>>    architecture.  These include reducing the signaling overhead for
>>    re-authentication and early authentication, integrating local
>>    domain name discovery, and improving deployment scalability.
>>    These goals supplement the discussion in [RFC5169].
>>
>> How should the last sentence be reworked?
> 
> [Qin]: I don't see this is not a major issue. 

Me, neither ;-).  The severity of Major was user error.

> If more clarity is requested,
> I suggest to change it into
> "
> These goals supplement the goal discussion in the section 4 of [RFC5169].
> "

Sounds good, but how about a slightly more polished version: "These goals
supplement those discussed in Section 4 of RFC 5169 [RFC5169]."?

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