Re: [hrpc] I-D Action: draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04.txt

[Corinne Cath <[e-mail]>]

Hi Stéphane et al,

Great work! I did a review of the document, some thoughts below:


   - I would rewrite the introduction, instead of starting with hard to
   parse (even for fellow academics) high-level academic concepts (like
   socio-technical ordering and epistemic community). Why not start with a
   couple of examples of concrete technology discussions in the IETF and then
   draw the connection to freedom of assembly? The ongoing discussion about
   DNS encryption (both the pros in terms of privacy and cons in terms of
   consolidation) being one example.

   - Same for the methodology - maybe it is necessary to say a couple of
   words about how process tracing works? In my own PhD thesis, I try to
   always draw parallels between my methods and methods used in the IETF to
   highlight both similarities and differences. For instance, could you draw a
   parallel between process tracing and Internet measurement? That way the
   text will speak more to its intended audience in the IETF/IRTF.

   - The use of the word "significant" in the methodology reads a bit
   confusing, as it implies a quant approach while you used a mostly qual
   approach.

   - This needs a citation: "Freedom of association and assembly refers
   both to the individual right to join or leave a group and to the collective
   right of a group to engage in a collective group and to organize itself.


The draft makes for a good read but I wonder what you want people to gain
from it because I think for this to be more actionable to IETF engineers it
would make more sense to draw further connections to ongoing conversations.

Hope this is helpful!

Kind regards,

-- 
Corinne Cath - Speth
Ph.D. Candidate, Oxford Internet Institute & Alan Turing Institute

Web: www.oii.ox.ac.uk/people/corinne-cath
Email: [e-mail] & [e-mail]
Twitter: @C_CS


On Mon, Mar 9, 2020 at 4:29 AM Stéphane Couture <[e-mail]>
wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> Just a quick notice. I quickly re-submitted a new revision of the draft,
> because it was expired and the deadline for draft submission is tomorrow.
> This one is only with minor revisions though. I'll try to come up with more
> before IETF.
>
> Best,
>
> Stéphane Couture
>
> Le dim. 8 mars 2020 à 21:13, <[e-mail]> a écrit :
>
>>
>> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
>> directories.
>> This draft is a work item of the Human Rights Protocol Considerations RG
>> of the IRTF.
>>
>>         Title           : Freedom of Association on the Internet
>>         Authors         : Niels ten Oever
>>                           Gisela Perez de Acha
>>                           Stéphane Couture
>>                           Joseph Lorenzo Hall
>>         Filename        : draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04.txt
>>         Pages           : 25
>>         Date            : 2020-03-08
>>
>> Abstract:
>>    This document discuss the relationships between the Internet
>>    architecture and the ability of people to exercise their right to
>>    freedom of assembly and association online.  The Internet
>>    increasingly mediates our lives, our relationships and our ability to
>>    exercise our human rights.  As a forum, it provides a global public
>>    space despite being built on predominantly private infrastructure.
>>    Since Internet protocols play a central role in the management,
>>    development and use of the Internet, the relation between protocols
>>    and the aforementioned rights should be analyzed and any adverse
>>    impacts should be mitigated.
>>
>>
>> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-irtf-hrpc-association/
>>
>> There are also htmlized versions available at:
>> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04
>>
>> A diff from the previous version is available at:
>> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04
>>
>>
>> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
>> submission
>> until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.
>>
>> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
>> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
>>
>>
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-- 
Corinne Cath - Speth
Ph.D. Candidate, Oxford Internet Institute & Alan Turing Institute

Web: www.oii.ox.ac.uk/people/corinne-cath
Email: [e-mail] & [e-mail]
Twitter: @C_CS