Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback
Mark Nottingham <mnot@mnot.net> Mon, 22 April 2013 03:49 UTC
Return-Path: <ietf-http-wg-request@listhub.w3.org>
X-Original-To: ietfarch-httpbisa-archive-bis2Juki@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: ietfarch-httpbisa-archive-bis2Juki@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3745021F893B for <ietfarch-httpbisa-archive-bis2Juki@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:49:59 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -10.452
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-10.452 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[AWL=0.147, BAYES_00=-2.599, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_HI=-8]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([12.22.58.30]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id hO-3MlS8q8b5 for <ietfarch-httpbisa-archive-bis2Juki@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:49:58 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from frink.w3.org (frink.w3.org [128.30.52.56]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 421CC21F890D for <httpbisa-archive-bis2Juki@lists.ietf.org>; Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:49:58 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from lists by frink.w3.org with local (Exim 4.72) (envelope-from <ietf-http-wg-request@listhub.w3.org>) id 1UU7kE-0002wg-7E for ietf-http-wg-dist@listhub.w3.org; Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:48:46 +0000
Resent-Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:48:46 +0000
Resent-Message-Id: <E1UU7kE-0002wg-7E@frink.w3.org>
Received: from lisa.w3.org ([128.30.52.41]) by frink.w3.org with esmtp (Exim 4.72) (envelope-from <mnot@mnot.net>) id 1UU7kA-0002w1-I4 for ietf-http-wg@listhub.w3.org; Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:48:42 +0000
Received: from mxout-08.mxes.net ([216.86.168.183]) by lisa.w3.org with esmtps (TLS1.0:DHE_RSA_AES_256_CBC_SHA1:32) (Exim 4.72) (envelope-from <mnot@mnot.net>) id 1UU7k9-0000Il-VR for ietf-http-wg@w3.org; Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:48:42 +0000
Received: from [192.168.1.80] (unknown [118.209.190.66]) (using TLSv1 with cipher AES128-SHA (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by smtp.mxes.net (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 3E36E509B8 for <ietf-http-wg@w3.org>; Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:48:19 -0400 (EDT)
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 6.3 \(1503\))
From: Mark Nottingham <mnot@mnot.net>
In-Reply-To: <5C8F5647-EC0C-4EE2-81AF-8B1F340E3D24@mnot.net>
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:48:19 +1000
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Message-Id: <900278F4-83FE-45F4-9EFB-9FE76212F36E@mnot.net>
References: <5C8F5647-EC0C-4EE2-81AF-8B1F340E3D24@mnot.net>
To: "ietf-http-wg@w3.org Group" <ietf-http-wg@w3.org>
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.1503)
Received-SPF: pass client-ip=216.86.168.183; envelope-from=mnot@mnot.net; helo=mxout-08.mxes.net
X-W3C-Hub-Spam-Status: No, score=-4.3
X-W3C-Hub-Spam-Report: AWL=-2.415, BAYES_00=-1.9, SPF_HELO_PASS=-0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001
X-W3C-Scan-Sig: lisa.w3.org 1UU7k9-0000Il-VR 9cef58ce25540323046926deee7b6a0f
X-Original-To: ietf-http-wg@w3.org
Subject: Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback
Archived-At: <http://www.w3.org/mid/900278F4-83FE-45F4-9EFB-9FE76212F36E@mnot.net>
Resent-From: ietf-http-wg@w3.org
X-Mailing-List: <ietf-http-wg@w3.org> archive/latest/17450
X-Loop: ietf-http-wg@w3.org
Resent-Sender: ietf-http-wg-request@w3.org
Precedence: list
List-Id: <ietf-http-wg.w3.org>
List-Help: <http://www.w3.org/Mail/>
List-Post: <mailto:ietf-http-wg@w3.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:ietf-http-wg-request@w3.org?subject=unsubscribe>
Now: http://trac.tools.ietf.org/wg/httpbis/trac/ticket/450 On 20/04/2013, at 5:39 PM, Mark Nottingham <mnot@mnot.net> wrote: > Strictly editorial feedback on the current p2: > > * 1. Introduction doesn't read smoothly. I'm happy to make a proposal if necessary. > > * 2 "The target of each HTTP request" s/each/a/ > > * 3.1 "The following header fields are defined to convey representation metadata:" This reads as if it's a closed set. Suggest removing "are defined to". > > * 3.1.1 a more appropriate section title would be "Processing Representation Data" or "Processing Representation Metadata" (depending on intent) > > * 3.1.2.1 "Frequently, the representation is stored in coded form, transmitted directly, and only decoded by the recipient." Saying "final recipient" would be clearer. > > * 3.1.4.1 "...by other means (not defined by HTTP)..." --> "...by other means (not defined by this document)..." (two occurrences) > > * 3.4.1. "When content negotiation preferences are sent by the user agent in a request in order to encourage..." The use of "in order" is slightly confusing here, esp. to a non-native speaker; we don't want to imply that they're ordered. Suggest dropping "in order". > > * 4.1 Last paragraph - "A client can send conditional request header fields..." Suggest prefixing with "For example," and moving up to be after the first paragraph. > > * 4.3.5 "action seems okay" is too informal. > > * 4.3.7 "The OPTIONS method requests information about the communication options available on the request/response chain identified by the effective request URI." This can be misread; suggest: > > "The OPTIONS method requests information about the communications options available for the target resource, either at the origin server or an intervening intermediary." > > * 5.3 should be a subsection of 3.4.1; there are already a number of headers defined in section 3, and it's better to have all of the conneg material together. > > * 6.5.8 "...could not be completed due to a conflict with the current state of the resource." --> "... with the current state of the target resource." > > Cheers, > > > -- > Mark Nottingham http://www.mnot.net/ > > > > -- Mark Nottingham http://www.mnot.net/
- p2: Purely editorial feedback Mark Nottingham
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Willy Tarreau
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Mark Nottingham
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Mark Nottingham
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Amos Jeffries
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Mark Nottingham
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback Mark Nottingham
- Re: p2: Purely editorial feedback James Cloos