Re: [I2nsf] Fwd: AUTH48 [AP]: RFC 9061 <draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-14.txt> NOW AVAILABLE

["Diego R. Lopez" <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

It looks reasonable to me, but I wonder whether in order to avoid the stacking of hyphenated qualifiers we could use:

A YANG Data Model for IPsec Flow Protection based on Software-Defined Networking (SDN)

Be goode,

--
"Esta vez no fallaremos, Doctor Infierno"

Dr Diego R. Lopez
Telefonica I+D
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr2lopez/

e-mail: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>
Mobile:  [phone]
----------------------------------

On 14/06/2021, 09:24, "I2nsf on behalf of Rafa Marin-Lopez" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]> on behalf of [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>> wrote:

Dear I2NSF WG members:

We have received a suggestion from the RFC editor about a possible change in the title:

Software-Defined Networking (SDN)-based IPsec Flow Protection —>

A YANG Data Model for Software-Defined Networking (SDN)-based IPsec Flow Protection

We think this is reasonable and it is inline with the document.

If you do not have any objection, we can apply this change. Any thoughts?

Best Regards.


Inicio del mensaje reenviado:

De: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>
Asunto: Re: AUTH48 [AP]: RFC 9061 <draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-14.txt> NOW AVAILABLE
Fecha: 10 de junio de 2021, 22:58:29 CEST
Para: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>

Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!--[rfced] We note that most of the recently published RFCs containing
YANG modules format their titles as "A YANG Data Model for...", for example:

   RFC 8022 - A YANG Data Model for Routing Management
   RFC 7407 - A YANG Data Model for SNMP Configuration
   RFC 7317 - A YANG Data Model for System Management
   RFC 7277 - A YANG Data Model for IP Management

Please consider whether the title of this document should be updated.
-->


2) <!--[rfced] For clarity, may we change "while" to "whereas" here?
This would make it clear that the intended meaning is a contrast
rather than "at the same time".

Original:
 Therefore, the NSF will only have support for
 IPsec while key management functionality is moved to the I2NSF
 Controller.
-->


3) <!--[rfced] We see a number of author-inserted comments in the .xml
file for this document. We are unsure if these have been resolved.
Please review and let us know if these can be deleted or if they need
to be addressed.
-->


4) <!-- [rfced] FYI: Note that the YANG modules have been updated per
the formatting option of pyang.  Please let us know any concerns.
-->


5) <!--[rfced] In Sections 6.2.1 and 6.2.3, should "rw enable?"
and "leaf enable" be "rw enabled?" (as used in RFC 8340 ad most
published RFCs) and "leaf enabled" (as used in most published RFCs)?

Original:
rw enable?   boolean
...
leaf enable {
-->


6) <!--[rfced] RFC 2560 is referenced in the YANG module in Section 5.2.3
but is not mentioned anywhere else in the text. May we add it as a
Normative Reference and to the introductory text in Section 5.2.3?
-->


7) <!--[rfced] In tree diagram in Section 5.3.1, the two lines that
include "ipsec-protocol-parameters" are one character too long to
fit in the space allowed in the txt output file. Please let us know
how to adjust this so that it will fit.
-->


8) <!--[rfced] In the Security Considerations section, the text
does not exactly match what appears on
<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines>.
Paragraph 5 of the YANG boilerplate text is missing. This seems
intentional, but we'd like to confirm that this is correct.
-->


9) <!--[rfced] The following reference has been superseded
by a 2021 version.  Would you like for it to be updated?

Original:
  [ITU-T.X.690]
             "Recommendation ITU-T X.690", August 2015.

2021 version:
  [ITU-T.X.690]
             International Telecommunication Union, "Information
             technology - ASN.1 encoding rules: Specification of Basic
             Encoding Rules (BER), Canonical Encoding Rules (CER) and
             Distinguished Encoding Rules (DER)", ITU-T Recommendation
             X.690, ISO/IEC 8825-1, February 2021.
-->


10) <!--[rfced] Should "SaaS" be expanded as "Software as a Service"
or "Storage as a Service"?

Original:
  For example, SD-WAN technologies are providing
  dynamic and on-demand VPN connections between branch offices, or
  between branches and SaaS cloud services.
-->


11) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of
the online Style Guide
<https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let
us know if any changes are needed.
-->


Thank you.

RFC Editor/ap/jm

On 6/10/21 3:55 PM, [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]> wrote:

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--------------------------------------
RFC9061 (draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-14)

Title            : Software-Defined Networking (SDN)-based IPsec Flow Protection
Author(s)        : R. Marin-Lopez, G. Lopez-Millan, F. Pereniguez-Garcia
WG Chair(s)      : Linda Dunbar, Yoav Nir
Area Director(s) : Roman Danyliw, Benjamin Kaduk


-------------------------------------------------------
Rafa Marin-Lopez, PhD
Dept. Information and Communications Engineering (DIIC)
Faculty of Computer Science-University of Murcia
30100 Murcia - Spain
Telf: [phone] Fax: [phone] e-mail: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>
-------------------------------------------------------





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