Re: [I2nsf] YANG Doctors Working Group Last Call Review for draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06

Hi Acee,
I will let the module prologue in the next revised draft match the
suggested template in RFC 8407.

I will leverage the existing IETF modiles for packet match specification
and date/time specification
in the next revision.

When the revision is done, I will let you know.

Thanks.

Best Regards,
Paul

On Tue, Jul 30, 2019 at 12:51 AM Acee Lindem (acee) <acee@cisco.com> wrote:

> Hi Paul,
>
>
>
> The module prologue still doesn’t match the suggested template in RFC 8407
> - https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc8407#appendix-B. Additionally, you
> didn’t take my suggestion to leverage existing IETF models for packet match
> specification - https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/rfc8519/ and date/time
> specification  - https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc8177.txt. Did you look
> at these?
>
>
>
> Thanks,
> Acee
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *From: *"Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>
> *Date: *Thursday, July 25, 2019 at 10:10 AM
> *To: *Acee Lindem <acee@cisco.com>
> *Cc: *"draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm@ietf.org" <
> draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm@ietf.org>, "i2nsf-ads@ietf.org" <
> i2nsf-ads@ietf.org>, "i2nsf@ietf.org" <i2nsf@ietf.org>, YANG Doctors <
> yang-doctors@ietf.org>, "skku_secu-brain_all@googlegroups.com" <
> skku_secu-brain_all@googlegroups.com>
> *Subject: *Re: [I2nsf] YANG Doctors Working Group Last Call Review for
> draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06
>
>
>
> Hi Acee,
> Here is the revision letter for the revised draft, reflecting your
> comments along with the revised draft:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-07
>
>
>
> The following things have not been addressed yet due to the time
> limitation.
>
> - The leveraging of the definitions in RFC 8519 for packet matching.
> - The factoring of common types and identities into a common I2NSF types
> module.
>
> These two will be reflected in the next revision.
>
> If you have further comments and questions, please let me know.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Best Regards,
> Paul
>
>
>
> On Sat, Jun 22, 2019 at 2:03 PM Acee Lindem (acee) <acee@cisco.com> wrote:
>
> I have reviewed this document as part of the YANG doctors directorate's
>
> ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.
> These
>
> comments were written with the intent of improving the operational aspects
> of the
>
> IETF drafts. Comments that are not addressed in last call may be included
> in AD reviews
>
> during the IESG review.  Document editors and WG chairs should treat these
> comments
>
> just like any other early review comments.
>
>
>
>
>
> Document: draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06
>
> Reviewer: Acee Lindem
>
> Review Date: June 22, 2019
>
> Review Type: Working Group Last Call
>
> Intended Status: Standards Track
>
> Summary: Needs to go back to Working Group for rework and another WGLC
>
>
>
> Modules: "ietf-i2nsf-policy-rule-for-nsf@2019-06-12.yang"
>
>
>
> Tech Summary: The model defines different types of I2NSF security policy.
> Each
>
>                              is comprised of an event, a condition, and an
> action. There is
>
>                              significant overlap with other IETF models.
> Within I2NSF, there
>
>                              is repetition of definitions which needs to
> go into a common
>
>                              I2NSF types module.  Additionally, the data
> descriptions were
>
>                               were done quickly and never reviewed or
> edited. I believe
>
>                              it needs to go back to the working group for
> another revision and
>
>                              working group last call.
>
> .
>
>
>
> Major Comments:
>
>
>
>  1. Why don't you leverage the definitions in RFC 8519 for packet matching?
>
>     We don't need all this defined again.
>
>
>
>  2. Date and time are defined in RFC 6991. Why don't those suffice?
>
>
>
>  3. Refer to the intervals as "time-intervals" rather than "time-zones".
>
>     The term "time-zone" has a completely different connotation.
>
>
>
>  4. What the "acl-number"? Also, ACLs are named (RFC 8519). Also, why
>
>     define all the packet matching and then reference an ACL.
>
>
>
>  5. The descriptions are very awkwardly worded and in many cases simply
>
>     repeat the data node or identify description without hyphens. I
>
>     started trying to fix this but it was too much. I'll pass for on
>
>     for some examples. There are enough co-authors and contributors that
>
>     one would expect much better.
>
>
>
>  6. There is overlap of definitions with the I2NSF capabilities draft.
>
>     The common types and identities should be factored into a common
>
>     I2NSF types module.
>
>
>
>  7. The "Security Considerations" in section 8 do not conform to the
>
>     recommended template in
> https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-
>
>     guidelines>
>
>
>
>
>
> Minor Comments:
>
>
>
>  1. Section 3.1 should reference RFC8340 rather than attempting to
>
>     include tree diagram formatting semantics.
>
>
>
>  2. "iiprfn" is a poor choice for default model prefix - I suggest
>
>     "nsfintf". It is only one character longer and actually is expands
>
>      to something meaningful.
>
>
>
>  3. RFC 2460 is obsoleted by RFC 8200.
>
>
>
>  4. RFC 791 is the wrong reference for IPv4 TOS. It should be RFC 1394.
>
>
>
>  5. What is the IGRP protocol? I'm familiar with EIGRP but not IGRP.
>
>
>
>  6. What is the skip protocol? Is this about skipping the check? If so,
>
>     why is it needed.
>
>
>
>  7. Reference for IPv6 ICMP should be RFC 2463.
>
>
>
>  8. Why do you include Photuris definitions? Nobody uses this.
>
>
>
>  9. Note that all the keys for all 'config true' lists must be
>
>     unique so your specification in the description as well as
>
>     'mandatory true' are redundant for the 'rules' list. This
>
>     mistake is in other lists as well.
>
>
>
> 10. What is 'during' time?
>
>
>
> 11. What is a "security-grp"? Is this a security-group?
>
>
>
> 12. The module prologue doesn't match the example in Appendix B of
>
>     RFC 8407.
>
>
>
> 13. There needs to be a good definition of absolute and periodic
>
>        time in the descriptions.
>
>
>
> 14. The References do not include all the RFCs referenced by YANG
>
>     model reference statements.
>
>
>
> Nits: Will send diff to authors and i2nsf chairs as example of review that
> should be done on YANG documents prior to sending to YANG doctors.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
> Acee
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
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>
>
>
>
> --
>
> ===========================
> Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
> Associate Professor
> Department of Software
> Sungkyunkwan University
> Office: +82-31-299-4957
> Email: jaehoon.paul@gmail.com, pauljeong@skku.edu
> Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
> <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>
>

-- 
===========================
Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Department of Software
Sungkyunkwan University
Office: +82-31-299-4957
Email: jaehoon.paul@gmail.com, pauljeong@skku.edu
Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
<http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>