[I2nsf] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-12: (with COMMENT)
Barry Leiba via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Fri, 18 September 2020 19:41 UTC
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Date: Fri, 18 Sep 2020 12:41:59 -0700
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Subject: [I2nsf] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-12: (with COMMENT)
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Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-12: No Objection When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- While most of these comments are editorial, some of them are dealing with text that's difficult to understand because of the editorial issues. Please consider these: — Section 1 — As the industry becomes more sophisticated and network devices (e.g., Internet of Things, Self-driving vehicles, and smartphone using Voice over IP (VoIP) and Voice over LTE (VoLTE)), service providers have a lot of problems described in [RFC8192]. This sentence seems a bit fractured. What about network devices? It looks like there’s something missing after the parenthetical. Please re-work this sentence. — Section 3 — This section provides as overview of how the YANG data model can be Typo: “provides an overview”. The configuration of advanced security functions over the NSF-Facing Interface is used to configure the security policy rules of advanced network security functions (e.g., anti-virus and Distributed-Denial- of-Service (DDoS) attack mitigator), respectively, according to the capabilities of NSFs registered with the I2NSF Framework. I don’t see what “respectively” refers to, as the sentence only talks about configuring one thing (“the security policy rules of advanced network security functions”). Also, it seems odd to say “the configuration of … is used to configure …”. Probably should fix that. o If a network administrator wants to block malicious users for IPv6 traffic, he sends a security policy rule to block the users to the Network Operator Management System using the I2NSF User (i.e., web application). Please consider not making the network administrator male (“he”). o When the Network Operator Management System receives the security policy rule, it automatically sends that security policy rules to appropriate NSFs Change “rules” to singular “rule” to match the first half of the sentence. — Section 7 — You twice say “transport secure transport”, which should just be “secure transport”. o ietf-i2nsf-capability: An attacker could alter the security capabilities associated with an NSF whereby disabling or enabling the evasion of security mitigations. I don’t think “whereby” is the right word here, but I can’t figure out what you’re trying to say well enough to suggest what the right word is. Maybe just “by”? And I don’t know what it means to “disable the evasion of” something. So this sentence needs some work, please. These are the subtrees and data nodes and their sensitivity/vulnerability: Something’s missing here. Maybe just “is”? Maybe something else?
- [I2nsf] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-… Barry Leiba via Datatracker