[Iasa20] AD review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc2031bis-04

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Thu, 06 June 2019 20:36 UTC

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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Thu, 6 Jun 2019 16:27:01 -0400
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Subject: [Iasa20] AD review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc2031bis-04
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I have reviewed this document in preparation for IETF last call. There are a couple of substantive issues that should be resolved prior to last call and nits to be fixed in the next rev of the draft.

Substantive comments:

Section 6:

"The IETF LLC provides the IETF with a separate legal existence.  The
   IETF LLC structure now covers (from a legal perspective) the IETF
   standards and IETF standards process, all IETF officers (IAB, IESG,
   Nomcom, and WG chairs), IETF employees and contractors, the RFC
   series and RFC editor, and all of the IETF's other business
   operations."

I'm not sure what "covers from a legal perspective" means. For consistency I think it would be better to replace this paragraph with language that appears in the IETF LLC agreement and rfc4071bis, e.g., "The IETF LLC provides a corporate legal framework for facilitating current and future activities related to the IETF, IAB, and IRTF, and it provides financial support for the operation of the RFC Editor."

[come back to para about IETF Trust]

Section 7:

"Under the new IASA 2.0 structure, the IETF is solely responsible for
   its administration via the IETF LLC, IETF Trust, IAB, IESG, IETF
   working groups, and other IETF processes."

I'm confused by what "via" is supposed to mean here. Would it make more sense to say, "Under the new IASA 2.0 structure, the IETF LLC is responsible for the IETF's administration"?

Nits:

Section 4:

s/critical new IETF standards/IETF standards/

Section 7:

s/the IETF LLC will be responsible/the IETF LLC is responsible/

s/a bank account/bank accounts/

Thanks,
Alissa