Re: [Iasa20] Benjamin Kaduk's No Objection on draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-09: (with COMMENT)

[Joseph Lorenzo Hall <[e-mail]>]

Thanks, Ben! Responses inline, pointing to opened github issues that we'll
bang out shortly...

On Thu, Apr 11, 2019 at 9:24 AM Benjamin Kaduk via Datatracker <
[e-mail]> wrote:

>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> COMMENT:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Four paragraphs is fairly long for an Abstract.
>
>
This is a pretty foundational document, so I think it's a rarity.


> Section 1
>
>                                                            Under this
>    structure, the Internet Administrative Oversight Committee (IAOC) is
>    eliminated, and its oversight and advising functions transferred to
>    the IETF LLC Board.
>
> (I note that the Abstract uses the past tense "was eliminated", and also
> differs about whether the 'I' is "Internet" or "IETF".)
> Are we comfortable tossing out the concept of the IAOC with no lead-up
> or reference?
>
>
We'll fix both the tense confusion (will try to prefer present tense, if
possible):

https://github.com/IASA2/draft-ietf-iasa2-struct/issues/99

Should we point to the definitions to fix the last problem? We can easily
say "See Section 4.1" for the definitions or we could insert something like:

OLD

Under this
   structure, the Internet Administrative Oversight Committee (IAOC) is
   eliminated, and its oversight and advising functions transferred to
   the IETF LLC Board.

NEW

Under this
   structure, the IETF Administrative Oversight Committee (IAOC) --
   the previous administrative oversight body for the IETF -- is
   eliminated, and its oversight and advising functions transferred to
   the IETF LLC Board.

Holler if that works.

Section 2
>
> It's great to say that no changes are made, but that doesn't help
> someone looking for the current procedures if we don't provide a
> reference to what the current procedures are.
>
>
Here, are you saying that we should enrich that paragraph with citations?
So, something like:

OLD

The document does not propose any changes related to the standards
   process as currently conducted by the Internet Engineering Steering
   Group (IESG) and Internet Architecture Board (IAB).  In addition, no
   changes are made to the appeals chain, the process for making and
   confirming IETF and IAB appointments, the technical work of the
   Internet Research Task Force (IRTF), or to ISOC's membership in or
   support of other organizations.

NEW (added three BCP refs):

The document does not propose any changes related to the standards
   process as currently conducted by the Internet Engineering Steering
   Group (IESG) and Internet Architecture Board (IAB) [BCP 9].  In
addition, no
   changes are made to the appeals chain, the process for making and
   confirming IETF and IAB appointments [BCP 10], the technical work of the
   Internet Research Task Force (IRTF) [BCP 8], or to ISOC's membership in
or
   support of other organizations.

Section 4.2
>
>    o  The Board of Directors of the IETF LLC - formally a multi-member
>       "manager" of the IETF LLC on behalf of ISOC - assumes the
>       oversight responsibilities of the IAOC.
>
> I'm not sure whether there's any ambiguity about whether "of" means
> "over" or "from", to a reader who doesn't already know that it means
> "from".
>
>
Is this just saying you think it reads better if s/of the IAOC/from the
IAOC/ ?


> Section 6.2
>
>    As noted above, a maximum of two Directors may be appointed by the
>    IETF LLC Board.  They can obviously choose to appoint none, one, or
>    two.  These appointments need not be on an exceptional basis, but
>    rather be routine, and may occur at any time of the year since it is
>    on an as-needed basis.
>
> nit: I think there's a word missing here, maybe in "can rather be routine".
> There also seems to be a singular/plural mismatch between "these" and
> "it".
>

How about: s/rather be routine/can be routine/ ?


>
>    The appointment of a Board-appointed Director requires a two-thirds
>    majority vote of the Directors then in office, and the appointee
>    shall take office immediately upon appointment.  [...]
>
> Upon appointment, or upon appointment *and confirmation*?
>
>
Good catch, will fix by making that addition:

https://github.com/IASA2/draft-ietf-iasa2-struct/issues/100

>
>    The Board may decide on a case-by-case basis how long each term shall
>    be, factoring in the restriction for consecutive terms in
>    Section 6.4.
>
> Section 6.5 also seems relevant.
>
>
This is a typo; it should point to 6.5, will change.

https://github.com/IASA2/draft-ietf-iasa2-struct/issues/101



> Section 6.10
>
>                                      If a quorum is not present at any
>    meeting of the Board, the Directors present may adjourn the meeting
>    from time to time, without notice other than announcement at the
>    meeting, until a quorum is present.  [...]
>
> I'm not sure I understand the purpose of "from time to time" in this
> sentence.  (Barry seems to have covered this already, though.)
>

Yes, Barry proposed a fix that would deal with this, will update in the
next version:

https://github.com/IASA2/draft-ietf-iasa2-struct/issues/102


> Section 7.7
>
>    The IETF LLC exists to support the IETF, IAB, and IRTF.  Therefore,
>    the IETF LLC's funding and all revenues, in-kind contributions, and
>    other income that comprise that funding shall be used solely to
>    support activities related to the IETF, IAB, IRTF, and RFC Editor,
>    and for no other purposes.
>
> Why are the lists in the first and second sentences different?
>

Because the RFC Editor is contracted through the IAB, but that somewhere in
the WG discussion it felt important to call out in the second list. I don't
think we can just add the RFC Editor to the first list... but we could do
something like this: "The IETF LLC exists to support the IETF, IRTF, and
IAB (through which the RFC Editor receives support)."

best, Joe

-- 
Joseph Lorenzo Hall
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