Re: [Iasa20] AD review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-04

Bob Hinden <bob.hinden@gmail.com> Wed, 27 February 2019 19:56 UTC

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From: Bob Hinden <bob.hinden@gmail.com>
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Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2019 11:56:28 -0800
Cc: Bob Hinden <bob.hinden@gmail.com>, Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Subject: Re: [Iasa20] AD review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-04
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I reviewed the Diff.  Overall looks good, a few comments below.

Bob

—————

   Abstract and Introduction

   The IETF LLC provides the corporate legal home for the IETF, the
   Internet Architecture Board (IAB), and the Internet Research Task
   Force (IRTF).

Should this also mention the RFC Editor (as is done later in the document)?

----------


   4.1.  Terminology

   ...Uses of the term 'IASA' as a proper noun may imply a subset of these roles, or all of them.

Is this sentence necessary?

----------

   6.9.  Quorum

   At all synchronous live meetings of the Board, two-thirds of the

What does “synchronous live meetings” mean?  Are there other kinds of meetings, for example, asynchronous dead meetings?  I find this confusing.   I think just saying “meetings” is fine.   Making decision via email are not meetings.

----------

   7.7.  Focus of Funding Support

   The IETF LLC exists to support the IETF, IAB, and IRTF.  Therefore,
   the IETF LLC's funding and all revenues, in-kind contributions, and
   other income that comprise that funding shall be used solely to
   support activities related to the IETF, IAB, and IRTF and for no
   other purposes.

I think the RFC Editor should be included in this paragraph.

----------



> On Feb 27, 2019, at 8:11 AM, Bob Hinden <bob.hinden@gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> 
> Alissa,
> 
>> On Feb 27, 2019, at 12:06 AM, Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi Bob,
>> 
>>> On Feb 27, 2019, at 1:13 AM, Bob Hinden <bob.hinden@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Alissa, Jason,
>>> 
>>> Could we get a diff of all of the changes?  
>> 
>> rfcdiff between -04 and -06 shows them all.
> 
> Thanks, a URL for this diff is:
> 
> https://tools.ietf.org/tools/rfcdiff/rfcdiff.pyht?url1=https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-04.txt&url2=https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-06.txt
> 
> Hopefully useful for others.  I will review it later today.
> 
> Bob
> 
> 
>> 
>> Alissa
>> 
>>> As you said, there are a lot of changes.
>>> 
>>> Thanks,
>>> Bob
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> On Feb 26, 2019, at 4:11 PM, Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> Thanks for the updates. I have just a few more edits to suggest. Since there were a lot of changes, I’ll give people in the WG a few days to review this and will issue the IETF LC next Monday unless there is ongoing discussion on the list at that point.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> = Please fix the I-D nits. =
>>>> 
>>>> = Section 4.1 =
>>>> 
>>>> "IASA: The IETF Administrative Support Activity, defined by [RFC4071] and updated by this document …”
>>>> 
>>>> I don’t think this is right since this document is obsoleting RFC 4071. I think you could say “The IETF Administrative Support Activity was originally defined in RFC 4071. As defined in this document, IASA consists of … .”Or just drop the first sentence of the definition altogether.
>>>> 
>>>> = Section 5.2 =
>>>> 
>>>> s/(or amending/(or amend/
>>>> 
>>>> = Section 7.5 =
>>>> 
>>>> s/other IETF staff/other IETF LLC staff/
>>>> 
>>>> s/and approval/with approval/
>>>> 
>>>> = Section 7.6 =
>>>> 
>>>> s/convey to donors/convey to sponsors and donors/
>>>> 
>>>> = Section 14.2 =
>>>> 
>>>> draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc7437bis needs to be normative, not informative
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> iasa20 mailing list
>>>> iasa20@ietf.org
>>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/iasa20
>>> 
>> 
>