Re: [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
"Joel M. Halpern" <jmh@joelhalpern.com> Wed, 14 August 2019 23:12 UTC
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To: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>, gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: iasa20@ietf.org, draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis.all@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org
References: <156582253711.2426.3220277110350903958@ietfa.amsl.com>
From: "Joel M. Halpern" <jmh@joelhalpern.com>
Message-ID: <0630f823-bcb1-247c-d003-6f162bd3c793@joelhalpern.com>
Date: Wed, 14 Aug 2019 19:12:44 -0400
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Subject: Re: [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
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Thank you Elwyn. I have applied both changes to my private copy. I will submit when the chairs / ADs request. Yours, Joel On 8/14/2019 6:42 PM, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker wrote: > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02 > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review Date: 2019-08-14 > IETF LC End Date: 2019-08-14 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: > Ready with a couple of nits. The text of para 2 of section 3 refers to an > initial state that is not applicable to the transition which requires this > update. Emphasising continuity seems more appropriate. > > Major issues: > None > > Minor issues: > None > > Nits/editorial comments: > Abstract, last sentence (very picky): Technically, what has been removed from > the text of RFC 5377 are references to the IAOC. Suggest s/IASA/IAOC which was > part of IASA/ > > s3, para 2, first sentence: The first sentence was applicable to the original > creation of the licence policies and text when responsibility was initially > transferred to the trustees and is inappropriate for the current modification > of the trust organisation. It could probably be safely deleted, or the > continuity could be emphasised by something like... OLD: > The rough consensus described in this document reflects the agreement > of the IETF as of the IETF Last Call, and the Trustees of the IETF > Trust are to begin drafting license text and other materials to act > on these instructions upon IESG approval of this document for RFC > publication. > NEW: > To ensure continuuty, the starting point for license text and other materials > will be that previiysly created by the Trustees of the IETF under the > authority of [RFC5377] which this document supersedes. > ENDS > This requires a reference to RFC 5377. > > _______________________________________________ > iasa20 mailing list > iasa20@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/iasa20 >
- [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ia… Elwyn Davies via Datatracker
- Re: [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-iet… Joel M. Halpern
- Re: [Iasa20] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of… Elwyn Davies