[Idr] Re: Shepherd's review - draft-ietf-idr-bgpls-sr-vtn-mt-04 -

[Susan Hares <[e-mail]>]

Would you also be able to present a short presentation on your draft at the September 9th IDR meeting?  It will helo us start the WG last call.

Sue

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From: Chongfeng Xie <[e-mail]>
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To: Susan Hares <[e-mail]>; idr <[e-mail]>
Cc: Dongjie (Jimmy) <[e-mail]>; Li Cong <[e-mail]>; xiechf <[e-mail]>; lizhenbin <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: Shepherd's review - draft-ietf-idr-bgpls-sr-vtn-mt-04 -

Hi Sue, Thank you very much for your review and revisions made. Yes, we wish to start WG LC after we made changes to the document, the new version will be submitted soon. Best regards Chongfeng  ‌  ‌  ‌
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Hi Sue,
Thank you very much for your review and revisions made.  Yes, we wish to start WG LC after we made changes to the document, the new version will be submitted soon.

Best regards
Chongfeng


From: Susan Hares<mailto:[e-mail]>
Date: 2024-09-02 18:13
To: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>
CC: Dongjie (Jimmy)<mailto:[e-mail]>; [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>; [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>; Chongfeng XIE<mailto:[e-mail]>; Lizhenbin<mailto:[e-mail]>
Subject: Shepherd's review - draft-ietf-idr-bgpls-sr-vtn-mt-04 -

Chongfeng, Cong, Jie and Robin:



This message contains my shepherd’s review for

draft-ietf-idr-bgpls-sr-vtn-mt-04.



This draft is almost ready to go through WG LC.

The draft has 8 minor English improvements that could be made.



Do you wish to start WG LC after you make these few

minor changes to the document?



Cheerily, Sue





=============



Shepherd Review for:

draft-ietf-idr-bgpls-sr-vtn-mt-04



status: WG Draft (last publication 11/22/2022), expired

Status: Informational.

version: revision suggested

(The content is OK, but a few editorial suggestions are made.)

early allocation: none



Editorial:



1. Abstract, sentence 1, incorrect use of "etc"



Old text:/

   Enhanced VPNs aim to deliver VPN services with enhanced

   characteristics, such as guaranteed resources, latency, jitter, etc.,

   so as to support customers requirements for connectivity services

   with these enhanced characteristics./



New text:/

   Enhanced VPNs aim to deliver VPN services with enhanced

   characteristics to connect customers who require specific

   guaranteed resources, latency, or jitter./



 2. Introduction, sentence 1, incorrect use of "etc."



Old text:/

   Enhanced VPNs aim to deliver VPN services with enhanced

   characteristics, such as guaranteed resources, latency, jitter, etc.,

   so as to support customers requirements for connectivity services

   with these enhanced characteristics./



New text:/

   Enhanced VPNs aim to deliver VPN services with enhanced

   characteristics to connect customers who require specific

   guaranteed resources, latency, or jitter./





 3. Introduction, paragraph 4, incorrect capitalization



Old text:/

   To allow NRP-specific constraint-based path computation and/or NRP-

   specific shortest path computation to be performed by network

   controller and network nodes, The set of resource-awere SR SIDs and

   the associated topology and resource attributes of an NRP need to be

   distributed using a control plane./



 New text:/

  To allow NRP-specific constraint-based path computation and/or NRP-

   specific shortest path computation to be performed by network

   controller and network nodes, the set of resource-awere SR SIDs and

   the associated topology and resource attributes of an NRP need to be

   distributed using a control plane./



 4. Introduction, paragraph 5, sentence clarity

 Current:/

  [I-D.ietf-lsr-isis-sr-vtn-mt] describes the IGP Multi-

   Topology (MT) [RFC5120] based mechanism to advertise the topology and

   the associated SR SIDs, together with the resource and TE attributes

   for each SR based NRP./



 New:/

  [I-D.ietf-lsr-isis-sr-vtn-mt] describes the IGP Multi-

   Topology (MT) [RFC5120] based mechanism to advertise an independent topology and

   the associated SR SIDs, together with the resource and TE attributes

   for each SR based NRP. /



 5. Section 2.2, paragraph 4, sub-paragraph 1, starting with "One EBGP"

 Problem: clarity in sentence due to "comma".

 Current text:/

      In both cases, different BGP Peer-Adj-SIDs or SRv6

      End.X SID need to be allocated to each underlying physical or

      virtual member link, the association between the BGP Peer Adj-SID/

      End.X SID and the MT-ID of the NRP need to be advertised by the

      ASBR./



 Current text:/

      In both cases, different BGP Peer-Adj-SIDs or SRv6

      End.X SID need to be allocated to each underlying physical or

      virtual member link, and the association between the BGP Peer Adj-SID/

      End.X SID and the MT-ID of the NRP need to be advertised by the

      ASBR./



6. section 4, paragraph 1, clarity due to "comma"



old text:/ For example, even if multiple NRPs share the same

   topology, each NRP still need to be identified using a unique MT-ID

   in the control plane, thus independent path computation needs be

   executed for each NRP.



new text:/ For example, even if multiple NRPs share the same

   topology, each NRP still need to be identified using a unique MT-ID

   in the control plane. Thus independent path computation needs be

   executed for each NRP. /



 7. Section 4, paragraph 1, - ", as no" - please review word choice

 Old text:/ The mechanism

   described in this document is considered useful for network scenarios

   in which the required number of NRPs is small, as no control protocol

   extension is required. /



A more normal word choice would be "because" as shown below,

but you may wish ", as no".



New text:

    / The mechanism

   described in this document is considered useful for network scenarios

   in which the required number of NRPs is small because no control protocol

   extension is required. /



   8. Section 4, paragraph 1,



 Current text:

    For network scenarios where the number of

   required NRPs is large, more scalable solution would be needed, which

   may require further protocol extensions and enhancements. /



New text:/

    For network scenarios where the number of

   required NRPs is large, more scalable solution would be needed which

   may require further protocol extensions and enhancements. /