RE: [Gen-art] Review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-mcptt-rp-namespace-03

Jörgen Axell <jorgen.axell@ericsson.com> Tue, 20 December 2016 19:40 UTC

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From: =?iso-8859-1?Q?J=F6rgen_Axell?= <jorgen.axell@ericsson.com>
To: Fernando Gont <fgont@si6networks.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: RE: [Gen-art] Review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-mcptt-rp-namespace-03
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Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2016 19:39:28 +0000
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On the technical comment below, section 12.5 in RFC4412 has those parameters.

For the MCPTT data transfer, I think it should state "For the MCPTT data transfer service currently..."

The rest are more or less trivial editorials.

Regards,
Jörgen

-----Original Message-----
From: Fernando Gont [mailto:fgont@si6networks.com] 
Sent: 16 December 2016 22:49
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: ietf@ietf.org; draft-holmberg-dispatch-mcptt-rp-namespace.all@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-mcptt-rp-namespace-03

Folks,

Apologies: wasn't sure whether the tool would insert the "boilerplate", so... here it is:

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Here's my review:


On 12/16/2016 06:46 PM, Fernando Gont wrote:
> Reviewer: Fernando Gont
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> ** Technical **
> 
> * Section 3, pages 3-4:
>>    Intended algorithm for mcpttq is queuing.
>>
>>    New Warning cde: No.
>>
>>    New SIP response code: No.
> 
> Is this kind of thing really needed/required in the registry?
> 
> 
> 
> ** Editorial **
> 
> * Section 1, page 2:
>>    The third generation partnership project (3GPP)
> 
> May be you should capitalize these? (i.e., "Third Generation...")
> 
> 
> * Section 1, page 2:
>> In addition to this a commercial PTT
>>    service for non-professional use (e.g., groups of people on
> holiday)
> 
> Please insert a comma after "this".
> 
> 
> * Section 1, page 3:
>> MCPTT data transfer currently under development can
>>    benefit from a queueing mechanism.
> 
> "data transfer..." protocols?
> 
> 
> * Section 2, page 3:
>> The use of this namespace outside such network is
>>    undefined.
> 
> s/network/networks/
> 
> 
> * Section 5, page 5:
>> 5.  IANA Considerations
>>
>>    Abiding by the rules established within [RFC4412] and [RFC7134],
> this
>>    is an Informative RFC registering two new namespaces, their
>>    associated priority-values, and intended algorithms.
> 
> s/registering/creating/ ?
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
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--
Fernando Gont
SI6 Networks
e-mail: fgont@si6networks.com
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