Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging-06.txt> (IPFIX Information Elements for logging NAT Events)

Paul Aitken <paitken@brocade.com> Wed, 02 March 2016 13:59 UTC

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Subject: Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging-06.txt> (IPFIX Information Elements for logging NAT Events)
To: "Senthil Sivakumar (ssenthil)" <ssenthil@cisco.com>, "draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging@ietf.org>
References: <56BC9C63.3080404@brocade.com> <D2E3BF4A.168243%ssenthil@cisco.com> <56BF1786.5090607@brocade.com> <D2E764D8.168A91%ssenthil@cisco.com>
From: Paul Aitken <paitken@brocade.com>
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Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2016 13:58:53 +0000
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Senthil, I hadn't realised you'd published a new version of the draft. 
Please CC me if/when you update it again.

I've quickly reviewed the diffs between -06 and -07 :


1. Terminology

" /Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in 
/ /this section./"

-> which section is "/this/" referring to? Since this paragraph seems 
only to serve as an introduction to the third paragraph which only 
contains a single exception, would it be better to remove these two 
lines and go directly to the third paragraph? :

    However, that causes
    confusion in terminology used in NAT specific terms and IPFIX IEs.
    Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in
    this section.



2. Introduction

"This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs)"

-> No need to repeat "(IEs)" since this was already explained in the 
Terminology section.

-> Remove the duplicated text:

    The IPFIX Protocol [RFC7011] defines a generic push mechanism for
    exporting information and events.  The IPFIX Information Model
    [IPFIX-IANA] defines a set of standard IEs which can be carried by
    the IPFIX protocol.This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs) that MUST be 
logged by a NAT device that supports NAT logging using IPFIX.   This document details the IPFIX Information
    Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT
    logging using IPFIX, and all the optional fields.  The fields
    specified in this document are gleaned from [RFC4787] and [RFC5382].



5.4. Quota exceeded Event types

-> In the "/The events that can be reported are .../", I'd like to see 
the text be identical to the items listed in table 3 to remove any 
possible ambiguity.



5.6.8.4.Global Address mapping high threshold reached

-> Extra whitespace at the period: "paired address pooling behavior ."



8.1. New Information Elements / natLimitEvent, natThresholdEvent,

-> typo: " describer in Table below."

-> you should remove the "Table 22" and "Table 23" descriptions under 
those tables, because these won't make any sense when the text is 
transcribed into IANA's registry. E



8.2. Modified Information Elements / natEvent

-> Again, you can't modify the definitions of the existing values.


P.