RE: Proposed New Note Well

["Adrian Farrel" <[e-mail]>]

At the risk of continuing the last four years' of nit-picking...

> Note Well
> 
> This summary does not contain all the details and is only meant to point you in
> the right direction. Exceptions may apply. The IETF's patent policy and the
> definition of an IETF "contribution" are set forth in BCP 79; please read it carefully.

I think it may be helpful to use 'a contribution to the IETF' and not 'an IETF contribution' as that is the term you use in the second bullet

It may also be helpful to include a citation for 'participating with the IETF' and/or 'a participant in any IETF activity' as this is a term with as much (or more) weight as used in the bullets.

> The brief summary:
> 
> • By participating with the IETF, you agree to follow IETF processes and policies.
> • If you are aware that any contribution to the IETF is covered by patents or
> patent applications that are owned by, controlled by, or would benefit you or
> your sponsor, you must disclose that fact, or not participate in the discussion.
> • As a participant in any IETF activity you acknowledge that written, audio and
> video records of meetings may be made and may be available to the public, and
> that recordings of you or your likeness, voice and conduct at the recorded event
> may be displayed, transmitted, copied, used and promoted in electronic and
> physical media accessible throughout the world.
> • Personal information that you provide to IETF will be handled in accordance
> with the IETF Privacy Statement set.

Is the word "set" superfluous here?

> For further information, talk to a chair, ask an Area Director, or review the
> following:
> ​
> BCP 9 (on the Internet Standards Process)
> ​BCP 25 (on the Working Group processes)
> ​BCP 78 (on copyright in IETF documents)
> ​BCP 79 (on patents covering IETF documents)
> TBD (on IETF Privacy Statement)

The word "on" seems superfluous.
I hope you are able to complete the Privacy Statement before we start using this new Note Well, otherwise it will look "odd".

Thanks,
Adrian
--
Celebrate the New Year by buying someone you love a book.
Tales from the Wood - Eighteen new fairy tales
http://www.feedaread.com/books/Tales-from-the-Wood-9781786100924.aspx
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Wood-Adrian-Farrel/dp/1786100924
Or buy from me direct.