[OPS-DIR] Review of draft-ietf-6man-rfc4291bis-07

מנחם דודג' <menachemdodge1@gmail.com> Thu, 27 April 2017 11:33 UTC

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From: מנחם דודג' <menachemdodge1@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2017 14:33:52 +0300
Message-ID: <CAJ2jOhV_FYt1ZhWUcX+_N-Dhbd94dSXSQxK8o_hiR6Nj8=aUzw@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: [OPS-DIR] Review of draft-ietf-6man-rfc4291bis-07
To: ops-dir@ietf.org, draft-ietf-6man-rfc4291bis.all@ietf.org
Cc: ietf@ietf.org, Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com>
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Reviewer: Menachem Dodge
Review result: Has Nits
Intended Status: Standards Track
Obsoletes: 4291 (if approved)

Hi all,

I have reviewed draft-ietf-6man-rfc4291bis-07 as part of the Operational
directorate's ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being
processed by the IESG.  These comments were written with the intent of
improving the operational aspects of the IETF drafts. Comments that
are not addressed in last call may be included in AD reviews during
the IESG review.  Document editors and WG chairs should treat these
comments just like any other last call comments.

“This document defines the addressing architecture of the IP Version 6
protocol. It includes the basic formats for the various
types of IPv6 addresses (unicast, anycast, and multicast).

My overall view of the document is 'Ready with nits' for publication.

*Technical*
No.


*Editorial *


The Nit tool has found the following:

  Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist :
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  == There are 16 instances of lines with non-RFC3849-compliant IPv6
     addresses in the document.  If these are example addresses, they should
     be changed.


  Miscellaneous warnings:
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  == Line 237 has weird spacing: '...address  is an...'


  Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     (See RFCs 3967 and 4897 for information about using normative references
     to lower-maturity documents in RFCs)

  == Unused Reference: 'RFC7217' is defined on line 1109, but no explicit
     reference was found in the text

  == Outdated reference: A later version (-10) exists of
     draft-ietf-6man-rfc2460bis-08

  -- Possible downref: Normative reference to a draft: ref.
     'I-D.ietf-6man-rfc2460bis'

  -- Obsolete informational reference (is this intentional?): RFC 3513
     (Obsoleted by RFC 4291)


===================

In addition I have the following:

Section 2.4.1 - Second Paragraph -- suggest to add 'the'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*OLD: *Interface IDs must be viewed outside of the node that created
Interface ID as an opaque bit string without any internal structure

*SUGGEST:* Interface IDs must be viewed outside of the node that
created *the *Interface ID as an opaque bit string without any
internal structure

Section 2.4.1 - FourthParagraph -- suggest to clarify
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*OLD:* As noted in Section 2.4, all unicast addresses, except those
that start with the binary value 000, Interface IDs are required to be
64 bits long.

*SUGGEST:* As noted in Section 2.4, the Interface IDs of all unicast
addresses, except those that start with the binary value 000, are
required to be 64 bits long.


Thank you kindly,

Menachem Dodge