Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03

Pete Resnick <presnick@qti.qualcomm.com> Mon, 08 August 2016 17:13 UTC

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From: Pete Resnick <presnick@qti.qualcomm.com>
To: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, <draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility.all@ietf.org>, <tram@ietf.org>, IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
Date: Mon, 8 Aug 2016 12:13:20 -0500
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
Reviewer: Pete Resnick
Review Date: 2016-08-08
IETF LC End Date: 2016-08-11
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some 
minor issues and nits that should be fixed before publication.

Major issues:

None

Minor issues:

3.1.2 - Change "MUST" to "will" both times in the second paragraph. The 
last sentence of the section I don't understand; it doesn't seem to have 
any interoperability implications, and I don't see why the client can't 
examine the ticket in any way it wants. Either justify the sentence or 
delete it.

3.2.2 - Change "may" to "MAY" in the sixth paragraph. That *is* a 
protocol option being described there.

Nits/editorial comments:

3.1.4 - Change "MAY" to "can" in the second paragraph. I'd also split 
that sentence into two sentences as the first half has nothing to do 
with the second half.

3.2.1 - The last sentence of 3.2.1 is confusing until you read 3.2.2 and 
3.2.3. I would simply delete the sentence. I don't think it adds 
anything.

3.4 - Put the "TBD" in there so that the RFC Editor can update.

4 - Put a note to the RFC Editor here to update sections 3.1.4 and 3.4 
with the error number. That will make sure it gets updated properly.

pr
-- 
Pete Resnick <http://www.qualcomm.com/~presnick/>
Qualcomm Technologies, Inc. - +1 (858)651-4478