GenArt LC review: draft-ietf-tsvwg-rtcweb-qos-15

Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com> Thu, 31 March 2016 16:39 UTC

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To: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-tsvwg-rtcweb-qos@ietf.org
From: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>
Subject: GenArt LC review: draft-ietf-tsvwg-rtcweb-qos-15
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Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2016 11:39:13 -0500
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
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Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-rtcweb-qos-15
Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review Date: 31Mar2016
IETF LC End Date: 18Apr2016
IESG Telechat date: Not yet scheduled for a telechat

Summary: Ready for publication as PS with nits

Nits/editorial comments:

These are very small editorial suggestions:

The introduction says "seldom makes things worse".
Section 5 says "This is one of the cases ... can make things worse."
There are no other cases called out, leaving the implementer to guess at 
what the other pitfalls are.

It would be better to tweak that text to be less vague. I suggest 
changing the introduction to say "there is one case this draft 
discusses. Other cases may possibly exist, but are expected to be rare" 
or similar.

The sentence "These code points are solely defaults." in the 
introduction is terse, and I suspect it won't translate well. Consider 
calling out what the consequences of that statement are more simply, 
even if it takes more words.

(Note that there is a thread between Magnus and Cullen on the tsvwg list 
that is resolving, but is not yet completely settled.)