[IPFIX] review of draft-ietf-ipfix-a9n-07

Paul Aitken <paitken@cisco.com> Thu, 01 November 2012 22:09 UTC

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Date: Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:08:58 +0000
From: Paul Aitken <paitken@cisco.com>
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To: Brian Trammell <trammell@tik.ee.ethz.ch>
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Cc: draft-ietf-ipfix-a9n@tools.ietf.org, IETF IPFIX Working Group <ipfix@ietf.org>
Subject: [IPFIX] review of draft-ietf-ipfix-a9n-07
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Having missed the WGLC announcement and just seen the IESG LC 
announcement, I thought I should quickly review the 04->05->06->07 diffs.

As usual I have just a few minor points which I hope are helpful.

Sorry things are a bit jumbled up this time, which is due to reviewing 
the three versions in order rather than the larger 04->07 all at once.


Section 3, 5th paragraph:

     I think the paragraph means to say that conversion between Flows is 
possible.
     However, I mis-read that the IEs can be converted within a flow - 
so there's potential ambiguity here:

    While much of the discussion in this document, and all of the
    examples, apply to the common case that the Original Flows to be
    aggregated are all of the same underlying type (i.e., are represented
    with identical Templates or compatible Templatescontaining a core
    set Information Elements which can be freely converted to one
    another), and


Also, there's a missing "of":

    with identical Templates or compatible Templates containing a core
    set*of*Information Elements



Section 8:

     Why was "pt" used for "protocolIdentifier"? Surely "pr" would have 
been more obvious choice and less easily confused with "Port".


Under Figure 19: remove ";" :

    After applying the interval distribution step to the source data in
    Figure 10,*;*  the Partially Aggregated flows are shown in Figure 20.



Under Figure 24: remove space before the comma:

    information from the Original Flows in Figure 10 , and as such is not



Section 6.2:

    Note that when aggregating flows from multiple
    Metering Processes with different active timeouts, the delay is
    *determined by*  the maximum active timeout.


     -  it's not so much "determined by" as "proportional to", because 
an allowance should also be made for other delays.


Section 3, paragraph 4:

     s/anonymising/anonymizing/ for consistency with the 8 other uses in 
the doc.


Section 8:

    The data records given as input to the examples in this section are
    shown below;


     say "in Figure 10", else the figure isn't referenced until after 
Figure 12.


P.