[IPsec] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-ipsecme-ikev2-intermediate-09: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Tue, 01 March 2022 09:53 UTC

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Subject: [IPsec] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-ipsecme-ikev2-intermediate-09: (with COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-ipsecme-ikev2-intermediate-09: No Objection

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COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Section 1. , paragraph 5, comment:
>    This specification describes a way to transfer a large amount of data
>    in IKEv2 using UDP transport.  For this purpose the document defines

To a transport person, "a large amount of data" sounds like a bulk transfer.
Surely this isn't the intention here? Could the text more precisely state for
which data sizes this is an appropriate mechanism?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Paragraph 3, nit:
> v2-intermediate-09 Abstract This documents defines a new exchange, called Int
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
Consider using the singular form after the singular determiner "This".

Section 1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> um Computer (QC) resistant ones. Currently most QC-resistant key exchange me
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently".

Section 1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> r IKEv2, as defined in [RFC8229]. However this approach has significant draw
>                                   ^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "However".

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 17, nit:
> ready to be encrypted) fragments. However care must be taken to properly rep
>                                   ^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "However".

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 18, nit:
> e[i/r] and SK_a[i/r] used for its messages protection (see Section 3.3.1) an
>                                   ^^^^^^^^
An apostrophe may be missing.

Section 3.4. , paragraph 2, nit:
> he peers can be certain that they receives messages from the party they perf
>                                   ^^^^^^^^
The pronoun "they" must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb.

Section 5. , paragraph 4, nit:
> nt interoperable implementations of this specifications from the following v
>                                     ^^^^
The demonstrative "this" may not agree with the plural noun "specifications".
Did you mean "these"?