Re: [jose] John Scudder's No Objection on charter-ietf-jose-02-00: (with COMMENT)

Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org> Thu, 01 December 2022 14:33 UTC

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From: Roman Danyliw <rdd@cert.org>
To: John Scudder <jgs@juniper.net>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
CC: "jose-chairs@ietf.org" <jose-chairs@ietf.org>, "jose@ietf.org" <jose@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: John Scudder's No Objection on charter-ietf-jose-02-00: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Thu, 01 Dec 2022 14:33:21 +0000
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Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/jose/KmFM9XB0vOkew_cO4Ht2EFsiWZc>
Subject: Re: [jose] John Scudder's No Objection on charter-ietf-jose-02-00: (with COMMENT)
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Hi John!

> -----Original Message-----
> From: iesg <iesg-bounces@ietf.org> On Behalf Of John Scudder via Datatracker
> Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2022 7:06 PM
> To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
> Cc: jose-chairs@ietf.org; jose@ietf.org
> Subject: John Scudder's No Objection on charter-ietf-jose-02-00: (with
> COMMENT)
> 
> John Scudder has entered the following ballot position for
> charter-ietf-jose-02-00: No Objection
> 
> When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email
> addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory
> paragraph, however.)
> 
> 
> 
> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-jose/
> 
> 
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> COMMENT:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Basically LGTM. There was one paragraph I found a little stilted, I provide some
> suggestions below. Take 'em or leave 'em, up to you.
> 
> While this sentence is grammatical, IMO it's a little denser to parse than it
> needs to be: "Concurrent to the growth of adoption of these standards to
> express and communicate sensitive data has been an increasing societal focus
> on privacy." Perhaps something like this instead? "As adoption of these
> standards to express and communicate sensitive data has grown, so too has an
> increasing societal focus on privacy." (Arguably "grown ... increasing" is
> redundant and "increasing" could be dropped but I don't think it hurts if you
> want to emphasize by repetition.)
> 
> For similar reasons maybe reword "Common privacy themes in identity
> solutions are user consent, minimal disclosure, and unlinkability." For example,
> "User consent, minimal disclosure, and unlinkability are common privacy
> themes in identity solutions."

Thanks for these suggestions.  I merged them into 02-01.

Roman