[kitten] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-kitten-tls-channel-bindings-for-tls13-14: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Mon, 28 February 2022 16:28 UTC

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From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
Cc: draft-ietf-kitten-tls-channel-bindings-for-tls13@ietf.org, kitten-chairs@ietf.org, kitten@ietf.org, alexey.melnikov@isode.com, alexey.melnikov@isode.com
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Reply-To: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
Message-ID: <164606569403.6283.13231317763955122937@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2022 08:28:14 -0800
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/kitten/p_n95KEfCT8UospbvZpDe5JkTrA>
Subject: [kitten] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-kitten-tls-channel-bindings-for-tls13-14: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-kitten-tls-channel-bindings-for-tls13-14: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "master"; alternatives might be "active", "central", "initiator",
   "leader", "main", "orchestrator", "parent", "primary", "server".

Thanks to Dale Worley for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/pO9096L_fD2Ey3DKJ2mfFOpGVHY).

The IANA review of this document seems to not have concluded yet.

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All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

"Abstract", paragraph 2, nit:
> h RFC 5056, On Channel Binding. Furthermore it updates the default channel b
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Furthermore".

Section 1. , paragraph 2, nit:
> ent updates [RFC5929] by adding an additional unique channel binding type, "t
>                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This phrase might be redundant. Consider either removing or replacing the
adjective "additional".

Reference [RFC5246] to RFC5246, which was obsoleted by RFC8446 (this may be on
purpose).

[kitten] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf… Lars Eggert via Datatracker