Re: [L2sm] AD review of draft-ietf-l2sm-l2vpn-service-model

[Qin Wu <[e-mail]>]

Thanks Benoit.
Authors, please take care of AD review’s comments.
It requires some editorial changes to address them.

-Qin
发件人: L2sm [mailto:[e-mail]] 代表 Benoit Claise
发送时间: 2018年2月22日 10:25
收件人: [e-mail]
主题: [L2sm] AD review of draft-ietf-l2sm-l2vpn-service-model

Dear all,

Here is the AD review.

- Section 1.2.
You want to use the YANG tree diagrams in draft-ietf-netmod-yang-tree-diagrams-04<https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-netmod-yang-tree-diagrams/>
I advice a section similar to https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis-03#section-1.3

- The draft is NMDA compliant. It should be mentioned.
Ex: draft-ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis-03, in the abstract and intro

   The YANG model in this document conforms to the Network Management

   Datastore Architecture defined in I-D.ietf-netmod-revised-datastores.


- The references to RFC6020 should be changed to RFC7950, except in the IANA considerations.
The YANG module is YANG 1.1

-

 revision 2018-02-05 {

    description

      "Initial revision -04 version";

    reference

      "draft-ietf-l2sm-l2vpn-service-model-05.txt<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-l2sm-l2vpn-service-model-05.txt>

       A YANG Data Model for L2VPN Service Delivery.";

  }



This should be changed to

 revision 2018-02-05 {

    description

      "Initial revision -04 version";

    reference

      "RFC XXXX: A YANG Data Model for L2VPN Service Delivery.";

  }


- https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines
Please doublecheck the template.
The first sentence is:
The YANG module specified in this document defines a schema for data that is designed to be accessed via network management protocols such as NETCONF [RFC6241] or RESTCONF [RFC8040].


Please publish a new version asap.
Note that those changes doesn't prevent the IETF LC to start now.
Hopefully, we could shoot for the March 8th IESDG telechat.

Regards, Benoit