Re: [L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: (with COMMENT)

Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com> Wed, 02 November 2016 17:22 UTC

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To: Spencer Dawkins <spencerdawkins.ietf@gmail.com>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
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From: Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com>
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Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2016 18:22:23 +0100
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Subject: Re: [L2sm] Spencer Dawkins' No Objection on charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: (with COMMENT)
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Thank you Spencer, I updated the charter with your suggestions.

Regards, B.
> Spencer Dawkins has entered the following ballot position for
> charter-ietf-l2sm-00-05: No Objection
>
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> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-l2sm/
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>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> COMMENT:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> I have a few editorial suggestions.
>
> I think "full system configuration that enable service agility" should be
> s/enable/enables/.
>
> I think "recognized it would be beneficial" would be better as
> "recognized that it would be beneficial".
>
> I think you can drop "attempt to" from "The working group will attempt to
> derive a single data model". That should be possible, especially if the
> working group has L3SM for guidance.
>
> I think "(that work is expected to be carried out in other
> protocol-specific working groups)" would be easier to read as a separate
> sentence, not as a parenthetical insertion.
>
>
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