Re: [L2tpext] [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator
"Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)" <cpignata@cisco.com> Sun, 03 January 2016 12:55 UTC
Return-Path: <cpignata@cisco.com>
X-Original-To: l2tpext@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: l2tpext@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id D706D1AC416; Sun, 3 Jan 2016 04:55:30 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -14.511
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-14.511 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_HI=-5, SPF_PASS=-0.001, T_RP_MATCHES_RCVD=-0.01, USER_IN_DEF_DKIM_WL=-7.5] autolearn=ham
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id EEAN-HsBJpyO; Sun, 3 Jan 2016 04:55:25 -0800 (PST)
Received: from rcdn-iport-3.cisco.com (rcdn-iport-3.cisco.com [173.37.86.74]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher DHE-RSA-SEED-SHA (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 7CC531AC401; Sun, 3 Jan 2016 04:55:23 -0800 (PST)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/simple; d=cisco.com; i=@cisco.com; l=8837; q=dns/txt; s=iport; t=1451825723; x=1453035323; h=from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:references: in-reply-to:mime-version; bh=YOyniwWz8T5/9pTf2SeatEZ6lvWI39c5cvJp//zKT0E=; b=GR1Gle7271PET88sXVWTl6r2a+uQgYLL6VHwo+TZdT5nHC6daWW3mg5Z KqUZaeOa1fwIS5vIu0X2+sh/tWYrja+0WWwBGdFMdBIIotTn9Zu5G2UMu JGhFKaN/skcN6qlpmOMGytZTEC9Ows8r06nZytROxlkfE22xPul8lQr7a 4=;
X-Files: signature.asc : 841
X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Filtered: true
X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Result: A0AyAwBtGYlW/5pdJa1egzpSbQEFiFOzcA6BZCKFbQKBEjgUAQEBAQEBAYEKhDQBAQEDASNWBQsCAQgUBCoCAjIlAgQOBQ6IGQgOrl+QagEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQ8JhlaCDwiCaIQwR4J8LoEbBYdeiyyDfAGCcYFkaogRgVxKg3yIWYpHg3IBIAFDghEcgV1yAYNEQ4EIAQEB
X-IronPort-AV: E=Sophos;i="5.20,516,1444694400"; d="asc'?scan'208";a="63702980"
Received: from rcdn-core-3.cisco.com ([173.37.93.154]) by rcdn-iport-3.cisco.com with ESMTP/TLS/DHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384; 03 Jan 2016 12:55:22 +0000
Received: from XCH-RTP-019.cisco.com (xch-rtp-019.cisco.com [64.101.220.159]) by rcdn-core-3.cisco.com (8.14.5/8.14.5) with ESMTP id u03CtLR8012828 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=FAIL); Sun, 3 Jan 2016 12:55:22 GMT
Received: from xch-rtp-020.cisco.com (64.101.220.160) by XCH-RTP-019.cisco.com (64.101.220.159) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 15.0.1104.5; Sun, 3 Jan 2016 07:55:21 -0500
Received: from xch-rtp-020.cisco.com ([64.101.220.160]) by XCH-RTP-020.cisco.com ([64.101.220.160]) with mapi id 15.00.1104.009; Sun, 3 Jan 2016 07:55:21 -0500
From: "Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)" <cpignata@cisco.com>
To: Loa Andersson <loa@pi.nu>
Thread-Topic: [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator
Thread-Index: AQHROZ+EFB90eL0exkOCIuK1yQc0+J7SJCaAgBgIboA=
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 2016 12:55:21 +0000
Message-ID: <BAFA0E58-E566-4278-98D2-55024668C9BB@cisco.com>
References: <56741688.9080104@pi.nu> <5674F131.8050709@pi.nu>
In-Reply-To: <5674F131.8050709@pi.nu>
Accept-Language: en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach: yes
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
x-ms-exchange-messagesentrepresentingtype: 1
x-ms-exchange-transport-fromentityheader: Hosted
x-originating-ip: [10.81.8.161]
Content-Type: multipart/signed; boundary="Apple-Mail=_59854B38-5F80-49E1-812D-19DAF7B84FDA"; protocol="application/pgp-signature"; micalg="pgp-sha256"
MIME-Version: 1.0
Archived-At: <http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/l2tpext/4zlzgYC2KutqHYGmw1sFFz4bVZ4>
Cc: "<rtg-dir@ietf.org>" <rtg-dir@ietf.org>, "l2tpext@ietf.org" <l2tpext@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator@ietf.org>, "rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org" <rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [L2tpext] [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator
X-BeenThere: l2tpext@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.15
Precedence: list
List-Id: Layer Two Tunneling Protocol Extensions <l2tpext.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/l2tpext>, <mailto:l2tpext-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/l2tpext/>
List-Post: <mailto:l2tpext@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:l2tpext-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/l2tpext>, <mailto:l2tpext-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 03 Jan 2016 12:55:31 -0000
Good catch! ICCN/OCCN should not be included. Fixed. — Carlos. > On Dec 19, 2015, at 12:54 AM, Loa Andersson <loa@pi.nu> wrote: > > Deborah, authors, > > I found one more small glitch. > > At most place the document says that the "S-BFD Target Discriminator > ID" AVP goes with ICRQ, ICRP, OCRQ, and OCRP. > > But section 2.1. includes ICCN also. > > /Loa > > On 2015-12-18 22:22, Loa Andersson wrote: >> Hello, >> >> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. >> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related >> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review, and >> sometimes on special request. The purpose of the review is to provide >> assistance to the Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing >> Directorate, please see >> http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir >> >> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it >> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF >> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through >> discussion or by updating the draft. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator-01.txt >> Reviewer: Loa Andersson >> Review Date: 2015-12-18 >> IETF LC End Date: date-if-known >> Intended Status: Proposed Standard (ID says Standards track) >> >> Summary: >> >> I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should >> be resolved before publication. >> >> Comments: >> >> I have considerable problems reading the draft, first it does not >> really follow RFC 7322 in some important details, also the format figure >> (as I understand it) is misleading. The document need a facelift. >> >> >> >> Major Issues: >> >> "No major issues found." >> >> Minor Issues: >> >> Even though the nit-picking below is pretty massive, it is purely >> editorial and should be fixed before going to IETF Last Call. I have >> no real concerns about the technical content >> >> Abstract: >> --------- >> I used often "my immediate manager" as a reference and said that >> the abstract should give her/him a good idea about what the draft is >> about. I don't think the abstract meet that standard. Could you please >> flesh out. >> >> RFC 7322 says that "Similarly, the Abstract should be complete >> in itself. It will appear in isolation in publication announcements >> and in the online index of RFCs." If I encounter this and is not up to >> speed on l2tp and bfd, this does not give a good idea what it is about. >> >> Abbreviations >> >> RFC 7322 says: >> Abbreviations should be expanded in document titles and upon first >> use in the document. The full expansion of the text should be >> followed by the abbreviation itself in parentheses. The exception is >> an abbreviation that is so common that the readership of RFCs can be >> expected to recognize it immediately; examples include (but are not >> limited to) TCP, IP, SNMP, and HTTP. The online list of >> abbreviations [ABBR] provides guidance. Some cases are marginal, and >> the RFC Editor will make the final judgment, weighing obscurity >> against complexity. >> >> The abbreviations are not expanded in title, abstract, and some other >> places, nor are they "well-known". >> >> Examples >> AVP - the RFC Editor abbreviation list gives two expansions, since this >> is l2tp I come to the conclusion that this is "attribute-value pair" and >> not the wellknow "Audio-Visual Profile (AVP)" >> >> S-BFD - BFD is not well-known, and S-BFD is not even in the RFC Editors >> abbreviations list. >> >> L2TPv3 - L2TP or L2TPv3 are not well-know. There is no RFC that does >> not expand the abbreviation in the title. >> >> ICRQ, ICRP, OCRQ, and OCRP are sued but not expanded, the pointer to >> where to find the expansions (RFC 3931) are nit give until the third >> time the quartet is mentioned >> >> LCCE - used but not expanded. nor well-known. >> The RFC Editor abbreviations has two expansions >> LCCE - Logical Cluster Computing Environment (LCCE) or >> - L2TP Control Connection Endpoint (RFCs 3931 and 4719) >> Since this is is L2TP context, it is the latter that is correct, but >> since we have an ambiguity we need to expand. >> >> Section 2 >> >> I have a problem parsing this sentence: >> >> This AVP is exchanged during session negotiation (ICRQ, ICRP, OCRQ, >> OCRP). >> >> Do you mean to say >> >> The "S-BFD Target Discriminator ID" AVP is exchanged using the ICRQ, >> ICRP, OCRQ, and OCRP control messages during session negotiations. >> >> Section 2.1 >> There is a TBD in the first sentence of this paragraph. While I >> agree that TDB is "well-know" I prefer using [TBA by IANA], >> where TBA stands for To Be Assigned. >> If you change this you also need to change in the IANA section. >> >> Excuse me if I don't understand this figure >> >> No. of octets >> +-----------------------------+ >> | Discriminator Value(s) | 4/Discriminator >> : : >> +-----------------------------+ >> >> First I think you say that a Discriminator is 4 octets >> Second there can be a variable number of discriminators per attribute >> value field >> The box in your figure seems to 29 bits wide, this is unorthodox. >> >> >> 0 1 2 3 >> 01234567012345670123456701234567 >> +-----------------------------+ >> | Discriminator Value(s) | >> : : >> +-----------------------------+ >> >> Is this what you mean? >> >> 0 1 2 3 >> 01234567012345670123456701234567 >> +--------------------------------+ >> | Discriminator Value (1) | >> +--------------------------------+ >> : : >> +--------------------------------+ >> | Discriminator Value (n-1) | >> +--------------------------------+ >> | Discriminator Value (n) | >> +--------------------------------+ >> >> Discriminator - a 4 octet value >> >> IANA consideration >> >> There is a practice - which I disagree with - to assume that IANA >> and readers know where to the registries. Please point it out so no >> mistakes are possible. >> >> OLD TEXT >> This number space is managed by IANA as per [RFC3438]. >> >> NEW TEXT >> IANA maintain a sub-registry "Message Type AVP (Attribute Type 0) >> Values" in the "Control Message Attribute Value Pairs" as per >> [RFC3438]. IANA is requested to assign the first free value from this >> sub-registry as the Message typ AVP for "S-BFD Discriminators". >> >> >> Nits: >> >> The nits tool does only give us the date warning. >> >> /Loa >> >> >>
- [L2tpext] rtg dir review of draft-ietf-l2tpext-sb… Loa Andersson
- Re: [L2tpext] [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-i… Loa Andersson
- Re: [L2tpext] rtg dir review of draft-ietf-l2tpex… Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)
- Re: [L2tpext] [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-i… Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)
- Re: [L2tpext] [RTG-DIR] rtg dir review of draft-i… Les Ginsberg (ginsberg)