[L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc8049bis-02.txt
"Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Sun, 20 August 2017 09:12 UTC
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From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: l3sm@ietf.org, draft-wu-l3sm-rfc8049bis@ietf.org
Date: Sun, 20 Aug 2017 10:12:03 +0100
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Subject: [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc8049bis-02.txt
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Author, All, I have done my document shepherd review of this document as part of the publication process. My comments are basically nits and I suggest you fix them at the same time as addressing the latest comments from David Ball. Then I will do the document write-up and send the draft to the AD for publication. Thanks, Adrian === Many thanks for Section 1.4 that made this review much easier. --- idnits reports some issues that you should handle: ** There are 132 instances of too long lines in the document, the longest one being 70 characters in excess of 72. It would be really nice if you fixed these. If you don't then the RFC Editor will introduce line wraps and you might not like how they do it. == There are 2 instances of lines with non-RFC6890-compliant IPv4 addresses in the document. If these are example addresses, they should be changed. This is a bogus warning, you can ignore it. == Line 486 has weird spacing: '...--rw id str...' == Line 488 has weird spacing: '...--rw id str...' == Line 490 has weird spacing: '...--rw id str...' == Line 492 has weird spacing: '...--rw id str...' == Line 566 has weird spacing: '...roup-id str...' == (20 more instances...) These are bogus warnings, you can ignore them. == Missing Reference: 'VPN2' is mentioned on line 1839, but not defined == Missing Reference: 'VPN3' is mentioned on line 1848, but not defined This is the figure in 6.5.2.2. I suggest that you use curved brackets as '(VPN2)' == Unused Reference: 'RFC6020' is defined on line 8310, but no explicit reference was found in the text I think you can simply remove this reference. ** Downref: Normative reference to an Informational RFC: RFC 4026 You can move this reference to be Informative consistent with the reference to RFC 4110. --- Section 1 OLD If approved, this document obsoletes [RFC8049]. The changes are a series of small fixes to the YANG module, and some clarifications to the text. The following changes were made: o First change o ... o Last change NEW If approved, this document obsoletes [RFC8049]. The changes are a series of small fixes to the YANG module, and some clarifications to the text. The changes are listed in Section 1.4. END --- Section 5 OLD The model is intended to be used in the way that the network operator's system is the server and the customer's system is the client. NEW The model is intended to be used in a mode where the network operator's system is the server and the customer's system is the client. END --- Section 6.3 OLD A particular location or a set of locations must be associated with each site. NEW Each site is associated with one or more location. END --- Section 6.12.2.2 OLD o direction: used to specify the direction which qos profile is applied to. Our proposed model supports "Site-to-WAN" direction, "WAN-to-Site"direction and "both" direction. By default, "both" direction is used. NEW o direction: used to specify the direction to which the qos profile is applied. This model supports three direction settings: "Site-to-WAN", "WAN-to-Site", and "both". By default, the "both" direction value is used. END --- Section 11 OLD This document adds a new YANG module name in the "YANG Module Names" registry [RFC7950]: Name: ietf-l3vpn-svc Namespace: urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:ietf-l3vpn-svc Prefix: l3vpn-svc Reference: RFC 8049 NEW IANA has recorded a YANG module name in the "YANG Module Names" registry [RFC7950] as follows: Name: ietf-l3vpn-svc Namespace: urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:ietf-l3vpn-svc Prefix: l3vpn-svc Reference: RFC 8049 IANA is requested to update this registry to reference this document on publication as an RFC. END
- [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc8049bi… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc80… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc80… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc80… Qin Wu
- Re: [L3sm] Shepherd review of draft-wu-l3sm-rfc80… Qin Wu