Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)
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From: "Acee Lindem (acee)" <acee@cisco.com>
To: Barry Leiba <barryleiba@computer.org>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
CC: "draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg@ietf.org>, Yingzhen Qu <yingzhen.ietf@gmail.com>, "aretana.ietf@gmail.com" <aretana.ietf@gmail.com>, "lsr-chairs@ietf.org" <lsr-chairs@ietf.org>, "lsr@ietf.org" <lsr@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Thu, 26 Sep 2019 19:19:46 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)
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Hi Barry, Thanks for your review - I've published the -38 version incorporating all your comments and Stewart Bryant's comments in order to avoid duplicates from other reviewers. I did take a pass over the document and added some additional articles. Thanks, Acee On 9/26/19, 1:37 AM, "Barry Leiba via Datatracker" <noreply@ietf.org> wrote: Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: No Objection When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for the work on this YANG module. My comments are all editorial, and there’s no need for a response... please just consider these, as they will help make the document clearer. Throughout the document, please hyphenate the following as shown here: per-topology basis per-interface basis per-level configuration per-level value level-specific parameter interface-specific parameter vendor-specific When you use “like” to mean “such as”, it’s ambiguous: “like” can also introduce a comparison, so does “fruit, like an apple” mean any fruit (and an apple is an example), or are you talking specifically about fruit that is in some way similar to an apple? It’s better to say “such as”, to avoid the ambiguity. All instances of “like” in the document should be changed, *except* for “encoded as a MAC address like” on page 35 and “would like to thank” in the Contributors section. Other, specific comments: — Section 2.1 — The model implements features, thus some of the configuration statement becomes optional. This is an odd sentence that I’m having a hard time understanding. Do you mean this?: NEW This model includes optional features, for which the corresponding configuration statements are optional. END By advertising the feature "admin-control", a device communicates to the client that it supports the ability to shutdown a particular IS- IS instance. The verb “shut down” is two words. — Section 2.2 — Some specific parameters can be defined on a per topology basis both at global level and at interface level Apart from adding a hyphen in “per-topology basis”, you need “the” before both “global” and “interface”. There are many places throughout the document where articles (usually “the”, but sometimes “a” or “an”) are missing. Someone familiar with the correct use of articles should take a pass through the document. — Section 2.3 — In the last two paragraphs of the section, one uses “should” advertise and the other uses “SHOULD” advertise. They should either both be BCP 14 key words, or both not. — Section 2.6 — The goal of this empty container is to allow easy augmentation with additional parameters like timers for example. As I noted above, you should use “such as”, rather than “like”, and you don’t *also* need “for example”, because “such as” already has that covered. So, “...additional parameters, such as timers.” — Section 2.8 — The "candidate-enable" allows to mark an interface to be used as a backup. You need a subject for the verb after “allows” or “requires”. It has to allow <something> to mark an interface, and you can’t omit the <something>. So what is it? If there really is no sensible entity to put there, you can use passive voice, ‘The "candidate-enable" option allows an interface to be marked for use as a backup.’ — Section 2.9 — Throughout the section, “information” is a collective noun; we don’t say “informations”. — Section 4 — The first four notification descriptions start with “raised when”, and the rest start with “This notification is sent when”. Please make them consistent, one way or the other. — Section 5 — Some IS-IS specific routes attributes are added to route objects I think this is supposed to say, “Some IS-IS-specific route attributes are added...” (add another hyphen and take the “s” off “routes”).
- [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-is… Barry Leiba via Datatracker
- Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-iet… Acee Lindem (acee)
- Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-iet… Barry Leiba
- Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-iet… Alvaro Retana
- Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-iet… Acee Lindem (acee)
- Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-iet… Acee Lindem (acee)