From nobody Tue Oct 20 11:36:48 2020 Return-Path: X-Original-To: lwip@ietfa.amsl.com Delivered-To: lwip@ietfa.amsl.com Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 305C03A12AE; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 11:36:47 -0700 (PDT) X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com X-Spam-Flag: NO X-Spam-Score: -9.597 X-Spam-Level: X-Spam-Status: No, score=-9.597 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H3=0.001, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_WL=0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001, USER_IN_DEF_DKIM_WL=-7.5] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=cisco.com header.b=i2GTX+sY; dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=cisco.onmicrosoft.com header.b=bATkvTGq Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id qtuRKkpYgyf2; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 11:36:45 -0700 (PDT) Received: from alln-iport-4.cisco.com (alln-iport-4.cisco.com [173.37.142.91]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher DHE-RSA-SEED-SHA (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 06E413A12AB; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 11:36:44 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/simple; d=cisco.com; i=@cisco.com; l=12260; q=dns/txt; s=iport; t=1603219005; x=1604428605; h=from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:mime-version; bh=FRKjYbkQCj2U/9d73Y0MoHGT0QE4mate4FgiwGmNsJk=; b=i2GTX+sYFsMSrsnduyg4WkpMU5yeKtfsGCvBEAzLEXnMhUEtE7q0/zrG Nf3dHQbcO/PEswiJ9x5P6TXkxxftM/4q0V0qITRMTnGNlsbnFVbJ/sAU3 wxoLVgbO5DzJGaPYiENtW/d0xgW99IBt/uUPoteWLhl/25K0ebbVMt48K k=; IronPort-PHdr: =?us-ascii?q?9a23=3AhrJmTxTx51apx9AjatxZOiBYTNpsv++ubAcI9p?= =?us-ascii?q?oqja5Pea2//pPkeVbS/uhpkESQBN+J6v9YhazRqa+zEWAD4JPUtncEfdQMUh?= =?us-ascii?q?IekswZkkQmB9LNEkz0KvPmLklYVMRPXVNo5Te3ZE5SHsutZlDOrDu19zFBUh?= =?us-ascii?q?n6PBB+c+LyHIOahs+r1ue0rpvUZQgAhDe0bb5oahusqgCEvcgNiowkIaE0mR?= =?us-ascii?q?Y=3D?= X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Filtered: true X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Result: =?us-ascii?q?A0D3AQCoLY9f/40NJK1gHQEBAQEJARI?= =?us-ascii?q?BBQUBQIE+BQELAYEiL1EHcFkvLAqHfAOhW4RvglMDVQsBAQENAQElCAIEAQG?= =?us-ascii?q?BVYJ1AoIFAiU3Bg4CAwEBCwEBBQEBAQIBBgRthWEMhXUWBhUTAQE3AREBgQA?= =?us-ascii?q?mAQQBDQ0agwWBfk0DLgEOpCMCgTmIaHSBNIMEAQEFhQMYghADBoE4AYJxikY?= =?us-ascii?q?bggCBVIVnAQECAYEjOyuDHYIskAsTikedHwqCaokEkhKhWpM5inSSAINAAgQ?= =?us-ascii?q?CBAUCDgEBBYFqJIFXcBWCcAEzUBcCDY4fg3GFFIVCdAI2AgYKAQEDCXyLBoE?= =?us-ascii?q?1AYEQAQE?= X-IronPort-AV: E=Sophos;i="5.77,398,1596499200"; d="scan'208,217";a="567738954" Received: from alln-core-8.cisco.com ([173.36.13.141]) by alln-iport-4.cisco.com with ESMTP/TLS/DHE-RSA-SEED-SHA; 20 Oct 2020 18:36:44 +0000 Received: from XCH-RCD-003.cisco.com (xch-rcd-003.cisco.com [173.37.102.13]) by alln-core-8.cisco.com (8.15.2/8.15.2) with ESMTPS id 09KIahrf030713 (version=TLSv1.2 cipher=AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=FAIL); Tue, 20 Oct 2020 18:36:44 GMT Received: from xhs-aln-002.cisco.com (173.37.135.119) by XCH-RCD-003.cisco.com (173.37.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 15.0.1497.2; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 13:36:43 -0500 Received: from xhs-rtp-003.cisco.com (64.101.210.230) by xhs-aln-002.cisco.com (173.37.135.119) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 15.0.1497.2; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 13:36:43 -0500 Received: from NAM10-BN7-obe.outbound.protection.outlook.com (64.101.32.56) by xhs-rtp-003.cisco.com (64.101.210.230) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 15.0.1497.2 via Frontend Transport; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 14:36:43 -0400 ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; s=arcselector9901; d=microsoft.com; cv=none; b=HGHOmPQaafc0bs44FVpkO8fGq0gs6u33lsIcNmrDo7g5BpmDWKMVvE+eTTgylHv0pBkwcZN1sJenUl+ANOzwRjNecLWKBvmhWb37ThYixDZSgxp0yT2bR9g+MSKsKb+iylEs6QUbAKYHtloUwFp0Lv0R/SQteO/WMyCKC37lJ+UsdLd4z6NFfd8j6uegwd1cTt6PSDwzeVSkcldaWzJoRXmy3KTv5EARkXLwB+07TlEgxMbMdVyK2ln4BL0oNNe21vIeFO+M3ow3ApQblRLDBPVWy12zx77+PggG+KcQXHudBFdlVBb+R9lBgWywyFGGbwXpEkWfUtrG3HFZt6IRHA== ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=microsoft.com; s=arcselector9901; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-SenderADCheck; bh=g0AvdS/QBqluscgvL1EWndVNCln889LKuKJqoY89YU8=; b=bB3Cc6tjn+2T9CQb62zvOR8zNOCBKvix+PUnKdKKZpMy5nT/nOyuoIJ97zZJkWYwBP19O4nM9SkO8LYxyW3b82J/orj055fZBcIUU/onjFg9vK0mIB2n7gq71WwbxnKTiH00zw2OSGRdkIaR0/6WzbKhlHLfe2Tlhc8tNcIkr640IFk7UkNJlVanWFpafEUFOiNXlQNwTnELBff1pJV6LwHQ3xE8zSzDrWcUiQ955xjSJU9kiCti7Y3ZebMa1MkWA6dAhGXynYw4thwWvugDSAuu2LBxwn9uOL34Da12O8BhVkkwlB6fMP/u8JkPt4/6K7h4rtnrNBiTta3AicUBVQ== ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1; mx.microsoft.com 1; spf=pass smtp.mailfrom=cisco.com; dmarc=pass action=none header.from=cisco.com; dkim=pass header.d=cisco.com; arc=none DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=cisco.onmicrosoft.com; s=selector2-cisco-onmicrosoft-com; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-SenderADCheck; bh=g0AvdS/QBqluscgvL1EWndVNCln889LKuKJqoY89YU8=; b=bATkvTGqKjt8b0/KmF6963c3AjWGqX1btJt9u49b093iTrK9SAMO2z17DSPe/bcyZaaLLpOqsBLmazGiZi//76z3sP+Sl2ZgQ0O8S8anYgBdFBpaNLfEcNV8HABcrya/DXAgan7Ashd5puhpj7CwXnjA34OtVrYXvesO2wiCxsk= Received: from BN7SPR01MB0024.namprd11.prod.outlook.com (2603:10b6:408:38::13) by BN6PR11MB2017.namprd11.prod.outlook.com (2603:10b6:404:46::21) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.20.3477.28; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 18:36:41 +0000 Received: from BN7SPR01MB0024.namprd11.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::cc63:cc73:9544:bc0f]) by BN7SPR01MB0024.namprd11.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::cc63:cc73:9544:bc0f%6]) with mapi id 15.20.3477.020; Tue, 20 Oct 2020 18:36:41 +0000 From: "Bernie Volz (volz)" To: "int-dir@ietf.org" , "Eric Vyncke (evyncke)" CC: "draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks@ietf.org" , "last-call@ietf.org" , "lwip@ietf.org" Thread-Topic: Int Dir telechat review of draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11 Thread-Index: AdanDEXvpTYpa7QHSQqmacNLrYzpEQ== Date: Tue, 20 Oct 2020 18:36:41 +0000 Message-ID: Accept-Language: en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: authentication-results: ietf.org; dkim=none (message not signed) header.d=none;ietf.org; dmarc=none action=none header.from=cisco.com; x-originating-ip: [173.38.117.78] x-ms-publictraffictype: Email x-ms-office365-filtering-correlation-id: 4db14f5c-124d-4271-6207-08d875271682 x-ms-traffictypediagnostic: BN6PR11MB2017: x-ms-exchange-transport-forked: True x-microsoft-antispam-prvs: x-ms-oob-tlc-oobclassifiers: OLM:5797; x-ms-exchange-senderadcheck: 1 x-microsoft-antispam: BCL:0; x-microsoft-antispam-message-info: cYv5Kb2l8eGAkgNde6Sj4AHKWvf/55PILnL/uswOE1faLjuD69eIxNnmvm3IfRYlbKLemrW7hB/U9d9/I8oOQRuPyyfPxIVU075j43SFFlUCYttBKHLidThrmgZt+wjbC7hZ7nmf7An3b0hWfurXOa3bSx8+kckoiCPHYXsb2IwLuAHeRFUN3D5YhGZDOeIx6uiVf0+4oQORnCICFWUmV1tYF/0ITE9q4vmvPX7OipqOZ0OT66Fz4R4L9JiMpvEyDEBVQPg335Mtk1NY6gmVcTk4VcGP/v0p/+e5mMYTmof4BMMCc+fxDG+j8vKCbuHL2/dRG9iQuzrWSU+CMKJ3SoEvHx75dd1jkVaw+QO5VPiYD/7qbLUHqH6+HDV8oFfYmK2c1B7WCyNz38AQhw2n9g== x-forefront-antispam-report: CIP:255.255.255.255; CTRY:; LANG:en; SCL:1; SRV:; IPV:NLI; SFV:NSPM; H:BN7SPR01MB0024.namprd11.prod.outlook.com; PTR:; CAT:NONE; SFS:(366004)(6506007)(33656002)(26005)(110136005)(5660300002)(66476007)(66446008)(64756008)(66946007)(7696005)(8676002)(66556008)(52536014)(9686003)(76116006)(8936002)(6636002)(83380400001)(166002)(54906003)(71200400001)(498600001)(450100002)(4326008)(55016002)(66574015)(2906002)(186003)(966005)(86362001); DIR:OUT; SFP:1101; x-ms-exchange-antispam-messagedata: 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 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_BN7SPR01MB0024B07CE9E12A1509EA39D5CF1F0BN7SPR01MB0024na_" MIME-Version: 1.0 X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthAs: Internal X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthSource: BN7SPR01MB0024.namprd11.prod.outlook.com X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-Network-Message-Id: 4db14f5c-124d-4271-6207-08d875271682 X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-originalarrivaltime: 20 Oct 2020 18:36:41.2964 (UTC) X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-fromentityheader: Hosted X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-id: 5ae1af62-9505-4097-a69a-c1553ef7840e X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-mailboxtype: HOSTED X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-userprincipalname: kA7U0mMpgmUJS4X20SORHhUvYYAFKaRJZ3dx9NwXtaBEHV9jRmgcMmlkBv9VG8+P X-MS-Exchange-Transport-CrossTenantHeadersStamped: BN6PR11MB2017 X-OriginatorOrg: cisco.com X-Outbound-SMTP-Client: 173.37.102.13, xch-rcd-003.cisco.com X-Outbound-Node: alln-core-8.cisco.com Archived-At: Subject: [Lwip] Int Dir telechat review of draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11 X-BeenThere: lwip@ietf.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29 Precedence: list List-Id: "Lightweight IP stack. Official mailing list for IETF LWIG Working Group." List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 20 Oct 2020 18:36:47 -0000 --_000_BN7SPR01MB0024B07CE9E12A1509EA39D5CF1F0BN7SPR01MB0024na_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Hi: I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrain= ed-node-networks (-11). These comments were written primarily for the benef= it of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s) should = treat these comments just like they would treat comments from any other IET= F contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments tha= t have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, see https://= datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/. Reviewer: Bernie Volz Review result: Ready (with minor nits) Minor nits: Section 2 should probably be updated to use the newer keyword boilerplate (= to reference RFC8174, etc.)? In Section 4.1.2 RTO is used (and also later) but this isn't defined until = section 4.2.4. Perhaps this is better defined when first used? In section 4.2.2, the following paragraph is a bit odd: One potentially relevant TCP option in the context of CNNs is TCP Fast Open (TFO) [RFC7413]. As desc= ribed in Section 5.3, TFO can be used to address the problem of traversing middleboxes that perform early filter state record deletion. Fast open isn't really used to address this issue. Section 5.3 is about "TC= P connection lifetime" and TFO is discussed there in the context of reducin= g the (initial) messages and latency. Perhaps this paragraph needs to be re= worked a bit? If the point is about TFO, then you should indicate what it i= s for (about optimizing short lived connections)? General: While RFC-editor will do, s/subsection/section is probably a good = idea as subsection isn't generally used in IETF documents when doing refere= nces. For section 8, it is too bad that some version/release information about th= e particular "code" analyzed wasn't included. It says "be aware that this A= nnex is based on information available as of the writing". But will that st= ill be valid when the RFC finally becomes available? Work started on the do= cument in Oct 2016 and I didn't go back to see when the various sections we= re added. On the other hand, perhaps these implementations don't evolve as = rapidly as general software? It does seem to be a nice survey of the availa= ble implementations. And, there are at least the following typos: characterstic codesize (perhaps code size) bandwitdh practise differrent communcation * Bernie --_000_BN7SPR01MB0024B07CE9E12A1509EA39D5CF1F0BN7SPR01MB0024na_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Hi:

 

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for draft-= ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks (-11). These comments were written = primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors = and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF contribut= ors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments that have been= received. For more details on the INT Directorate, see https://datatr= acker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/.

 

Reviewer: Bernie Volz

Review result: Ready (with minor nits)

 

Minor nits:

 

Section 2 should probably be updated to use the newe= r keyword boilerplate (to reference RFC8174, etc.)?

 

In Section 4.1.2 RTO is used (and also later) but th= is isn’t defined until section 4.2.4. Perhaps this is better defined = when first used?

 

In section 4.2.2, the following paragraph is a bit o= dd:

 

   One potentially relevant TCP =
option in the context of CNNs is TCP
   Fast Open (TFO) [RFC=
7413].  As described in Section 5.3,=
 TFO can be
   used to address the problem o=
f traversing middleboxes that perform
   early filter state record del=
etion.

 

Fast open isn’t really used to address this is= sue. Section 5.3 is about “TCP connection lifetime” and TFO is = discussed there in the context of reducing the (initial) messages and laten= cy. Perhaps this paragraph needs to be reworked a bit? If the point is about TFO, then you should indicate what it is for (about = optimizing short lived connections)?

 

General: While RFC-editor will do, s/subsection/sect= ion is probably a good idea as subsection isn’t generally used in IET= F documents when doing references.

 

For section 8, it is too bad that some version/relea= se information about the particular “code” analyzed wasn’= t included. It says “be aware that this Annex is based on information= available as of the writing”. But will that still be valid when the RFC finally becomes available? Work started on the document in Oc= t 2016 and I didn’t go back to see when the various sections were add= ed. On the other hand, perhaps these implementations don’t evolve as = rapidly as general software? It does seem to be a nice survey of the available implementations.

 

And, there are at least the following typos:

characterstic

codesize (perhaps code size)=

bandwitdh

practise

differrent

communcation

 

  • Bernie

 

 

 

 

--_000_BN7SPR01MB0024B07CE9E12A1509EA39D5CF1F0BN7SPR01MB0024na_--