Re: [Lwip] [Int-dir] Int Dir telechat review of draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11

"Bernie Volz (volz)" <volz@cisco.com> Fri, 30 October 2020 11:10 UTC

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From: "Bernie Volz (volz)" <volz@cisco.com>
To: Carles Gomez Montenegro <carlesgo@entel.upc.edu>
CC: "Bernie Volz (volz)" <volz=40cisco.com@dmarc.ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks@ietf.org>, "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "Eric Vyncke (evyncke)" <evyncke@cisco.com>, "lwip@ietf.org" <lwip@ietf.org>, "int-dir@ietf.org" <int-dir@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [Int-dir] [Lwip] Int Dir telechat review of draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11
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Subject: Re: [Lwip] [Int-dir] Int Dir telechat review of draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11
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RFC editor will fix remaining typos so no need to worry about those.

- Bernie

> On Oct 30, 2020, at 4:03 AM, Carles Gomez Montenegro <carlesgo@entel.upc.edu> wrote:
> 
> Hi Bernie,
> 
> Thank you very much for your review!
> 
> We just submitted revision -12, which aims at addressing the comments
> received from the IESG and related reviewers, including yours:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-12
> 
> Please find below our inline responses:
> 
>> Hi:
>> 
>> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
>> draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks (-11). These comments were
>> written primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document
>> editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would
>> treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along
>> with any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more
>> details on the INT Directorate, see
>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/.
>> 
>> Reviewer: Bernie Volz
>> Review result: Ready (with minor nits)
>> 
>> Minor nits:
>> 
>> Section 2 should probably be updated to use the newer keyword boilerplate
>> (to reference RFC8174, etc.)?
> 
> Actually, since the document does not use normative language, and
> according to the suggestions by some reviewers, we decided to remove
> Section 2.
> 
>> In Section 4.1.2 RTO is used (and also later) but this isn't defined until
>> section 4.2.4. Perhaps this is better defined when first used?
> 
> Agreed.
> 
>> In section 4.2.2, the following paragraph is a bit odd:
>> 
>> 
>>   One potentially relevant TCP option in the context of CNNs is TCP
>> 
>>   Fast Open (TFO) [RFC7413<https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7413>].  As
>> described in Section
>> 5.3<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-lwig-tcp-constrained-node-networks-11#section-5.3>,
>> TFO can be
>> 
>>   used to address the problem of traversing middleboxes that perform
>> 
>>   early filter state record deletion.
>> 
>> Fast open isn't really used to address this issue. Section 5.3 is about
>> "TCP connection lifetime" and TFO is discussed there in the context of
>> reducing the (initial) messages and latency. Perhaps this paragraph needs
>> to be reworked a bit? If the point is about TFO, then you should indicate
>> what it is for (about optimizing short lived connections)?
> 
> Yes, the paragraph was not in a very good shape, and perhaps TFO is not so
> specifically relevant to single-MSS stacks. Since TFO was better covered
> in Section 5.3 (now, Section 4.3) we decided to actually remove the
> paragraph.
> 
>> General: While RFC-editor will do, s/subsection/section is probably a good
>> idea as subsection isn't generally used in IETF documents when doing
>> references.
> 
> Done.
> 
>> For section 8, it is too bad that some version/release information about
>> the particular "code" analyzed wasn't included. It says "be aware that
>> this Annex is based on information available as of the writing". But will
>> that still be valid when the RFC finally becomes available? Work started
>> on the document in Oct 2016 and I didn't go back to see when the various
>> sections were added. On the other hand, perhaps these implementations
>> don't evolve as rapidly as general software? It does seem to be a nice
>> survey of the available implementations.
> 
> We understand that the information in section 8 is currently valid. We did
> our best to provide references (or version numbers) whenever possible.
> However, information sources are quite heterogeneous, and in a couple of
> cases (FreeRTOS, uC/OS) we were not able to find a specific release number
> related to the information provided.
> 
>> And, there are at least the following typos:
>> 
>> characterstic
>> codesize (perhaps code size)
>> bandwitdh
>> practise
>> differrent
>> communcation
> 
> We made the corresponding corrections in our working copy, but I just
> realized that there is still one instance of "characterstic" and
> "codesize" in -12... The rest of typos have been corrected. Sorry for
> that. We will definitely address those in the next revision. :(
> 
>> 
>>  *   Bernie
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Carles (on behalf of the authors)
> 
> 
> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> _______________________________________________
>> Lwip mailing list
>> Lwip@ietf.org
>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/lwip
>> 
> 
> 
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