[manet] Review of draft-ietf-manet-dlep-channel-utilization-01

Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> Thu, 19 December 2024 04:00 UTC

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From: Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2024 23:00:19 -0500
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Issues
------

Section 1.1: Contents of this section should be cut down to just the
part of the last paragraph starting with "The key words"

Section 2: Seems a bit fuzzy on the definition of Radio Channel Busy.
It says "blocked for any unknown reason" but is that right? The
following paragraph contemplates including time receiving and
transmitting in the busy time. At a minimum, I wonder if the word
"unknown" should be deleted...

Figures 1, 2, 3, and 4: are confusing. Assuming that Active Time, Busy
Time, Rx Time and Tx Time are actually 64-bit quantities, the 32-bit
boxes in the Figures should not have duplicate names. Assuming network
byte order, the first should, in each case, have ", Upper Half"
appended to the name in the box and the second  should have ", Lower
Half" appended or a similar change made.

Sections 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, 3.4, first sentence of each section: "contains
information how long" -> "contains information about how long" or
"contains information on how long"

Section 5: "two" -> "five"
"Both assignments" -> "These assignments"

Section 5: The document uses "TBD" throughout for all five of the code
points IANA is to assign. These should be replaced with something like
TBD1, TBD2, TBD3, TBD4, and TBD5 so that it is completely unambiguous
which table entry in Section 5 goes with which code point in the rest
of the document.

Section 5.2 heading: "Value" -> "Values"

Nits
----

In Section 2: "reseted" -> "reset"

Section 3: "usage on interface level" -> "usage on the interface level"

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com