[martini] Fw: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-martini-gin-10.txt

"Spencer Dawkins" <spencer@wonderhamster.org> Sun, 07 November 2010 14:57 UTC

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From: "Spencer Dawkins" <spencer@wonderhamster.org>
To: <martini@ietf.org>
Date: Sun, 7 Nov 2010 08:57:28 -0600
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Cc: brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com
Subject: [martini] Fw: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-martini-gin-10.txt
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Just to keep the working group in the loop ... and this is good news!

Brian, thanks for the review.

Spencer, as working group co-chair

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Brian E Carpenter" <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com>
To: <draft-ietf-martini-gin.all@tools.ietf.org>rg>; "General Area Review Team" 
<gen-art@ietf.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 07, 2010 2:25 AM
Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-martini-gin-10.txt

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-martini-gin-10.txt
Reviewer: Brian Carpenter
Review Date: 2010-11-07
IETF LC End Date: 2010-11-18
IESG Telechat date:

Summary: Almost ready
--------

Minor issue:
------------

The acronym AOR is used 63 times in the draft without being defined, except 
by implication
in the title of reference [18]. This, and the rather abrupt start to the 
Introduction,
makes this a document that is quite hard to get into for an outsider. I know 
what "SIP"
stands for, but it should be expanded in the Abstract, and I'd like to see 
at least one
sentence of introduction to SIP before "One of SIP's primary functions 
is...".

Similarly, in the Introduction:

   Although the use of REGISTER requests to update reachability
   information for multiple users simultaneously is somewhat beyond the
   original semantics defined for REGISTER requests, ...

I deduce that REGISTER is a SIP message. But this isn't stated, and I'd have 
expected
a reference to [4], where REGISTER is defined. Again, this is written as an 
insider
document.

Once we get past the Introduction the draft seems very thorough and clear,
and I (not being a SIP expert) could detect no technical issues.