Re: [MBONED] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09
Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Wed, 18 December 2019 02:25 UTC
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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2019 21:25:21 -0500
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Cc: "Holland, Jake" <jholland@akamai.com>, "draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery.all@ietf.org>, "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "mboned@ietf.org" <mboned@ietf.org>
To: Dan Romascanu <dromasca@gmail.com>
References: <157495449637.5764.13855226736437311725@ietfa.amsl.com> <A8D2527F-67D2-4CB4-B967-13548D28DD56@akamai.com> <CAFgnS4XF8qHuXDCWtAYv7QMdn=RaDdgE2OPO3P+FkO3wPe+mag@mail.gmail.com>
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Subject: Re: [MBONED] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09
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Dan, thanks for your review. Jake, thanks for making the changes. I entered a No Objection ballot. Alissa > On Dec 3, 2019, at 3:31 PM, Dan Romascanu <dromasca@gmail.com> wrote: > > Hi Jake, > > Thanks for addressing these issues. > > No further comments. > > Regards, > > Dan > > > On Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:57 PM Holland, Jake <jholland@akamai.com <mailto:jholland@akamai.com>> wrote: > Hi Dan, > > On 2019-11-28, 07:22, "Dan Romascanu via Datatracker" <noreply@ietf.org <mailto:noreply@ietf.org>> wrote: > > Nits/editorial comments: > > 1. The reading of 2.4.1 and 2.4.3 seemed to me confusing. 2.4.1 speaks about > > 'establishing' a connection while 2.4.3 speaks about 'completing' a connection. > > Are the two terms equivalent? If so, I would prefer to use only one of them, if > > not, some more clarification is necessary. > > Good point, thanks. I've provisionally changed my local copy to use > "established", which I think addresses this comment: > > OLD: > o An AMT connection is completed successfully when the gateway > receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query > > NEW: > o An AMT connection is established successfully when the gateway > receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query > > > 2. The term 'tier 3 ISP' used in Section 3.1.1 is an 'industry term' that needs > > to be defined, either by reference or in text. > > I've removed the "Tier 3" and expanded the first use to "Internet Service > Provider" (2nd use, not including section title). I think the "Tier 3" > was non-essential. > > OLD: > 3.1.1. Tier 3 ISP > > One example of a receiving network is an ISP that offers multicast > ingest services to its subscribers, illustrated in Figure 3. > > NEW: > 3.1.1. Internet Service Provider > > One example of a receiving network is an Internet Service Provider > (ISP) that offers multicast ingest services to its subscribers, > illustrated in Figure 3. > > Thanks for pointing out the nits, and please let me know if there's > anything else you think needs changing. > > Thanks and regards, > Jake > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > Gen-art@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [MBONED] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mb… Dan Romascanu via Datatracker
- Re: [MBONED] Genart last call review of draft-iet… Holland, Jake
- Re: [MBONED] Genart last call review of draft-iet… Dan Romascanu
- Re: [MBONED] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of… Alissa Cooper