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Re: [MBONED] Mirja Kühlewind's No Objection on draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09: (with COMMENT)

"Holland, Jake" <jholland@akamai.com> Wed, 18 December 2019 23:27 UTC

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From: "Holland, Jake" <jholland@akamai.com>
To: Mirja Kühlewind <ietf@kuehlewind.net>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
CC: "draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery@ietf.org>, "mboned-chairs@ietf.org" <mboned-chairs@ietf.org>, "mboned@ietf.org" <mboned@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [MBONED] Mirja Kühlewind's No Objection on draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2019 23:27:15 +0000
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Subject: Re: [MBONED] Mirja Kühlewind's No Objection on draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09: (with COMMENT)
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Hi everyone, and thanks for all the reviews and comments.

I just posted -11:
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-11

I believe it contains all the proposed edits I've accepted in the recent
threads, with one outstanding exception remaining, regarding the comment
from Mirja and my response (below).

This change seems to me like a fairly major editorial restructuring, and
it wasn't exactly the suggested change, so I wanted to ask for confirmation
on whether it seems like an improvement?  (And also whether anyone agrees
or disagrees with me that it seems better than swapping the 3. Examples
section wholesale with the current section 2?)

Aside from this pending change, I believe the -11 version incorporates all
the changes I've made in response to the many excellent reviews and comments
over the last several days.  Thanks everyone, and please let me know if
you notice anything that might be missing, or of course if there are further
comments (I think not everyone has had a chance to confirm yet whether the
changes addressed all their concerns.)

Best regards,
Jake


<outstanding-proposed-edit>
> 4) Editorial: I would recommend to have the examples (section 3) before section
> 2.

I think moving the section is a little tricky.  I'm not sure the examples
make much sense without the context established in sections 2.1 and
2.2, but I can see why it might make sense to break up section 2 between
2.2 and 2.3, and to put the examples section in-between, and now that you
mention it, might improve the document.

What do you think of this structure?

Section 2 title "Relay Discovery Operation" -> "Relay Discovery Overview"
Section 2.1 title "Overview" -> "Basic Mechanics"
Section 3 "Examples" moved to section 2.3
Section 2 end after new section 2.3 (previously Section 3 examples)

New section 3 titled "Relay Discovery Overview"
Section 2.3 onward becomes new section 3.1

Do you think that would be a worthwhile reordering?  Do you think it would
need any other changes?

I can see that having the examples before the more detailed sections about
relay discovery operation might improve the doc for those reading it in
order, I think that's a good point.  Thanks.
</outstanding-proposed-edit>

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