Re: [mpls] [Gen-art] Addressing comments on draft-ietf-mpls-psc-updates-03.txt

Hi, Eric.

I checked over the new version and it addresses my previous comments
just fine.  Thanks.

One trivial nit:
s2.3.2: s/processesed/processed/

I noted Adrian's point about draft-ietf-mpls-tp-psc-itu in the tracker
and I guess the suggested change is reasonable.

If you are updating the text you could also fix:
- The style is supposed to be 'RFC 6378' rather than RFC6378 outside of
reference anchors.
- Sort out the punctuations of 'i.e.,' : Currently there is one with no
comma (5, para 1), two with one comma and one with two commas (s6, para
10 - the quote from RFC 6378 where it has one comma); and of 'e.g.,' :
Currently one with no comma (s4.3, para 2).

I'll send an official telechat review when the review is scheduled.

Cheers,
Elwyn

On Mon, 2014-04-21 at 16:20 -0400, Eric Osborne wrote:
> Folks-
> 
>   I have posted draft-ietf-mpls-psc-updates-04.  It addresses the
> gen-art comments as well as other feeback received on this list from
> the v-03 last call.  I also shuffled things around so that the section
> order made more sense.
> 
>   This draft elicited a comment and a warning from idnits.  I believe
> they are both OK to disregard:
> 
> 1)
> 
>   -- The draft header indicates that this document updates RFC6378, but the
>      abstract doesn't seem to directly say this.  It does mention RFC6378
>      though, so this could be OK.
> 
> 
> It's pretty clear that the document updates rfc6378.
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
>   == Missing Reference: 'RFC-ietf-mpls-psc-updates-04' is mentioned on line
>      412, but not defined
> 
> 
> This is a self-reference which needs to be updated with the RFC number
> for this draft.
> 
> 
> 
>   I expect this to be good to go, but given the amount of reshuffling
> and new text I'd like to give folks one more shot at tweaking the
> language.
> 
> The meat of the work is in section 2.2.  Adrian, Elwyn - this contains
> the majority of the changes based on gen-art feedback and other
> discussions on the list.  Please give this the once-over at your
> convenience.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> eric
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Gen-art mailing list
> Gen-art@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art