[mpls] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06

Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com> Sat, 02 September 2017 01:14 UTC

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From: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: mpls@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org, draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt.all@ietf.org
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Message-ID: <150431489114.6649.9807443646105756121@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Fri, 01 Sep 2017 18:14:51 -0700
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/mpls/aPine0n1FLqoA60Ri6XPLbXimlk>
Subject: [mpls] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06

Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review result: Ready with Issues

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2017-09-01
IETF LC End Date: 2017-09-01
IESG Telechat date: 2017-09-14

Summary:  The draft is ready for publication after correcting some minor issues.

Major issues:  None

Minor issues:

Page 3, section 3, IBR definition: the definition give here appears to be a
duplicate of the one given for IN.  Copy the correct definition from RFC 7812
instead.

Nits/editorial comments:

Page 3, section 1, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: append a comma after "e.g.".

Page 8, section 4.4., 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete duplicate "on".

Page 8, section 4.4, 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence: change comma after
"computations" to a period.

Page 9, section 5.1.1, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: the construction
"red(blue)" is used without defining what it means exactly.  From the context,
it isn't quite "red or blue".  An explanation of the meaning of this
construction should be given.  I'm assuming it means something like use "red"
in the sentence in all cases or use use "blue", but don't mix them.  There's
also red/blue used later in the document which muddies the point.

Page 10, 1st full paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "foll" to "follows:".

Page 11, section 5.2.2, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete the period after
"A.1.7".

Page 12, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: consider deleting "how".

Page 13, 2nd paragraph after numbered list, 1st sentence: append "to" after
"respect".

Section titles for 5.2, 5.3, and 7: append a space after "RFC" to separate it
from the number.  The spaceless form should only be used for references
enclosed in brackets.

[mpls] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls… Peter Yee
Re: [mpls] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-… Chris Bowers