Re: [multimob] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-multimob-pmipv6-source-07
"Thomas C. Schmidt" <schmidt@informatik.haw-hamburg.de> Mon, 17 February 2014 10:41 UTC
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Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2014 11:41:09 +0100
From: "Thomas C. Schmidt" <schmidt@informatik.haw-hamburg.de>
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To: "Black, David" <david.black@emc.com>, "shgao@bjtu.edu.cn" <shgao@bjtu.edu.cn>, "hkzhang@bjtu.edu.cn" <hkzhang@bjtu.edu.cn>, "mw@link-lab.net" <mw@link-lab.net>, "General Area Review Team (gen-art@ietf.org)" <gen-art@ietf.org>
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Subject: Re: [multimob] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-multimob-pmipv6-source-07
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Hi David, many thanks for the review and the feedback. Please see responses inline. On 17.02.2014 04:22, Black, David wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-multimob-pmipv6-source-07 > Reviewer: David L. Black > Review Date: Feb 16, 2014 > IETF LC End Date: Feb 24, 2014 > > Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that > should be fixed before publication. > > This draft describes multicast support for proxy mobile IPv6. It assumes > significant understanding of multicast and specifically the PIM-SM protocol. > > Nits/editorial comments: > > -- Introduction, 3rd paragraph > > Remove the word business from the following text, please: > > Such approaches (partially) follow > the business model of providing multicast data services in parallel > to PMIPv6 unicast routing [I-D.ietf-multimob-handover-optimization]. > O.K., done. > -- 4.3.1 > > The fact that PIM-SM has three phases could be made somewhat clearer here. > Suggestion: > > OLD > The granularity of mobility-related routing > locators required in PIM depends on the complexity (phases) of its > deployment. > > The following information is needed for all three phases of PIM as > defined in [RFC4601]. > NEW > The granularity of mobility-related routing > locators required in PIM depends on the complexity (specific phase) > of its deployment. > > For all three phases of PIM deployment (see [RFC4601]), the following > information is needed. > O.K., done > Also, is "deployment" the right word to describe the phases? It implies > that not all of the phases need to be present in an implementation or > used, even if applicable. > You're right. We have reworded For all three phases in the operation of PIM (see [RFC4601]), the following information is needed. > -- 4.3.2 - 4.3.4 > > I would also suggest including the names of the phases from RFC 4601 in > these section titles, e.g.: > > 4.3.2. Operations of PIM in Phase One (RP Tree) > Thanks, done. > -- idnits > > idnits 2.13.01 found an unused reference and a couple of drafts that > have been updated: > > == Unused Reference: 'RFC2236' is defined on line 1047, but no explicit > reference was found in the text > Oh, a lapse - RFC2236 is listed mainly for historic/compatibility reasons. It is referenced now. > == Outdated reference: A later version (-02) exists of > draft-ietf-multimob-fmipv6-pfmipv6-multicast-01 > > == Outdated reference: A later version (-07) exists of > draft-ietf-multimob-handover-optimization-06 > This is due to an update problem of the online tool (ID database), which seems fixed now. Thanks again! We will update the document as soon as the submission re-opens. Best regards, Thomas -- Prof. Dr. Thomas C. Schmidt ° Hamburg University of Applied Sciences Berliner Tor 7 ° ° Dept. Informatik, Internet Technologies Group 20099 Hamburg, Germany ° ° http://www.haw-hamburg.de/inet Fon: +49-40-42875-8452 ° ° http://www.informatik.haw-hamburg.de/~schmidt Fax: +49-40-42875-8409 °
- Re: [multimob] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-multi… Thomas C. Schmidt