[netext] Gen-art telechat review: draft-ietf-netext-update-notifications-08

Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com> Tue, 24 September 2013 18:02 UTC

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Subject: [netext] Gen-art telechat review: draft-ietf-netext-update-notifications-08
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-netext-update-notifications-08
Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review Date: 2013-09-24
IETF LC End Date: 2013-08-29
IESG Telechat date: 2013-09-26

Summary: This draft is (still) ready for publication as Proposed 
Standard, but there are nits the editors agreed to fix that have not yet 
been addressed.

On 8/22/13 1:05 PM, Robert Sparks wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
>
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-netext-update-notifications-07
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review Date: 2013-08-22
> IETF LC End Date: 2013-08-29
> IESG Telechat date: not scheduled
>
> Summary: This draft is ready for publication as Proposed Standard
>
> I had to read through this text several times to convince myself 
> implementers could figure out what order they were required to take 
> steps in vs where they had flexibility:
>     o  Upon accepting the Update Notification message, the mobile access
>        gateway MUST process the message and perform the actions based on
>        the Notification Reason.
>        *  If the (A) flag in the message is set to a value of (1), the
>           mobile access gateway MUST first send an Update Notification
>           Acknowledgement message and set the status code field according
>           to the result of processing the Update Notification message.
>
> In particular, it's not immediately obvious if there is tension 
> between that "MUST first" and having "the result of processing" available.
> Please consider rewording to make it clearer that this "result of 
> processing" is not intended to include waiting for the result of some 
> action processing this notification message might trigger.
>
> It might help readers understand the intended usual case 
> retransmission mechanics if the expected default values listed in 
> section 7 were called out earlier in the document.