[netmod] shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

["maqiufang (A)" <[e-mail]>]

Hi, authors, WG,


As part of my shepherd write-up for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis, I've reviewed the latest version of the draft and have got some editorial comments (most of which are nits), hopefully they could be fixed before progressing the document.

The Idnits<https://author-tools.ietf.org/api/idnits?url=https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis-16.txt> complains of some errors and warnings, some of which I think are valid and need to be fixed before publication :

*         There is 1 instance of too long lines in the document, the longest one being 2 characters in excess of 72.

The line where the when expression is located in sec.4..6.4: when 'derived-from-or-self(rt:address-family, "v4ur:ipv4-unicast")' {



*         Downref: Normative reference to an Informational RFC: RFC 8792

Could this be fixed as informative reference?


*           -- Obsolete informational reference (is this intentional?): RFC 7223 (Obsoleted by RFC 8343)

Better to fix the reference to RFC 7223 with 8343 (which also defines the identical example) in section 4.19.1?

Section 4.14 specifies a set of YANG statements that MUST have a description substatement, but I don't think anydata should be omitted here. Thoughts?

Other nits:

*         Section 4.5
                OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type foo"
                NEW: presence "When present, indicates type foo"; (missing the semicolon)

                OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type bar"
                NEW: presence "When present, indicates type bar"; (missing the semicolon)

                OLD:
                     Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defining a
                   constraint on state data and specifies that the constraint must be
                   true in a valid state data.
                NEW:
                     Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defining
                   constraints on state data and specifies that the constraint must be
                   true in a valid state data tree.


*         Section 4.20

OLD:  max-elements  10;

NEW: max-elements 10;
                Please consider indenting a space here.


*         Section 4.24

s/ min-entries/min-elements

s/max-entries/max-elements



*         Section 5.1

OLD:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  N

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA

NEW:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  Y

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA



*         Appendix A

OLD: "IETF NETMOD (NETCONF Data Modeling Language) Working Group";

NEW: "IETF NETMOD (Network Modeling) Working Group";

Or, "IETF your-wg-name (expansion) Working Group", to be consistent with the info in contact statement.



*         Appendix C

The IETF Trust Copyright statement for the iana-template module doesn't seem to be correct.

s/Simplified/Revised/?

Best Regards,
Qiufang