[netmod] Re: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

[[e-mail]]

Hi Qiufang,

Thank you for the careful review.

The diff to track the changes can be found here: Diff: draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt - draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt<https://author-tools.ietf.org/api/iddiff?url_1=https://netmod-wg.github.io/rfc8407bis/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt&url_2=https://netmod-wg.github.io/rfc8407bis/quifang-review/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt>

Please see inline for more context.

Cheers,
Med

De : maqiufang (A) <maqiufang1=[e-mail]>
Envoyé : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 08:07
À : [e-mail]
Cc : [e-mail]
Objet : shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

Hi, authors, WG,


As part of my shepherd write-up for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis, I've reviewed the latest version of the draft and have got some editorial comments (most of which are nits), hopefully they could be fixed before progressing the document.

The Idnits<https://author-tools.ietf.org/api/idnits?url=https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis-16.txt> complains of some errors and warnings, some of which I think are valid and need to be fixed before publication :

  *   There is 1 instance of too long lines in the document, the longest one being 2 characters in excess of 72.

The line where the when expression is located in sec.4..6.4: when 'derived-from-or-self(rt:address-family, "v4ur:ipv4-unicast")' {



[Med] Fixed. Thanks.



  *   Downref: Normative reference to an Informational RFC: RFC 8792

Could this be fixed as informative reference?

[Med] This one is normative. Please note that 8792 is already listed in https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/downref.


  *     -- Obsolete informational reference (is this intentional?): RFC 7223 (Obsoleted by RFC 8343)

Better to fix the reference to RFC 7223 with 8343 (which also defines the identical example) in section 4.19.1?

[Med] The citation of 7223 is intentional. See, e.g.,

=
For example, the "ietf-interfaces" model in [RFC7223<https://netmod-wg.github.io/rfc8407bis/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.html#RFC7223>] has been restructured as an NMDA-compatible model in [RFC8343<https://netmod-wg.github.io/rfc8407bis/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.html#RFC8343>].
=

Section 4.14 specifies a set of YANG statements that MUST have a description substatement, but I don't think anydata should be omitted here. Thoughts?
[Med] This list is inherited from 8407, which in its turn was inherited from 6087. anydata wasn't in 6087 because it wasn't defined at the time in 6020. I don't have the context whether this was considered by the WG in the past, but I'm afraid that adding this mandatory will break existing models. For example, pyang does not make that check for anydata, while it is in place for anyxml. I suggest we leave the list as it is.

Other nits:

  *   Section 4.5
                OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type foo"
                NEW: presence "When present, indicates type foo"; (missing the semicolon)
[Med] ACK.

                OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type bar"
                NEW: presence "When present, indicates type bar"; (missing the semicolon)
[Med] ACK.

                OLD:
                     Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defining a
                   constraint on state data and specifies that the constraint must be
                   true in a valid state data.
                NEW:
                     Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defining
                   constraints on state data and specifies that the constraint must be
                   true in a valid state data tree.
[Med] OK, with s/ that the constraint/ that a constraint


  *   Section 4.20

OLD:  max-elements  10;

NEW: max-elements 10;
                Please consider indenting a space here.
[Med] OK.


  *   Section 4.24

s/ min-entries/min-elements

s/max-entries/max-elements



[Med] Good catch! This was inherited from 8470.



  *   Section 5.1

OLD:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  N

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA

NEW:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  Y

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA



[Med] The OLD is OK. The template is not maintained by IANA.



  *   Appendix A

OLD: "IETF NETMOD (NETCONF Data Modeling Language) Working Group";

NEW: "IETF NETMOD (Network Modeling) Working Group";

Or, "IETF your-wg-name (expansion) Working Group", to be consistent with the info in contact statement.

[Med] Works for me.



  *   Appendix C

The IETF Trust Copyright statement for the iana-template module doesn't seem to be correct.

s/Simplified/Revised/?

[Med] ACK.

Best Regards,
Qiufang

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