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Message-ID-Hash: FWWI574SANSPWJ2GUUXAAYGNZN7O3MMP X-Message-ID-Hash: FWWI574SANSPWJ2GUUXAAYGNZN7O3MMP X-MailFrom: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com X-Mailman-Rule-Misses: dmarc-mitigation; no-senders; approved; emergency; loop; banned-address; member-moderation; header-match-netmod.ietf.org-0; nonmember-moderation; administrivia; implicit-dest; max-recipients; max-size; news-moderation; no-subject; digests; suspicious-header CC: "netmod@ietf.org" X-Mailman-Version: 3.3.9rc4 Precedence: list Subject: =?utf-8?q?=5Bnetmod=5D_Re=3A_shepherd_review_for_draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bi?= =?utf-8?q?s?= List-Id: NETMOD WG list Archived-At: List-Archive: List-Help: List-Owner: List-Post: List-Subscribe: List-Unsubscribe: --_000_DU2PR02MB10160594A1FF1E3FE19E3FEE9886B2DU2PR02MB10160eu_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Re-, Great. Thanks for checking. -17 is now public : https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8= 407bis/17/ Cheers, Med De : maqiufang (A) Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 11:16 =C0 : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET ; draft-iet= f-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org Cc : netmod@ietf.org Objet : RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis Thanks Med, the update looks good to me, could you please go ahead with sub= mission? I will then update and submit my write-up on Datatracker. Best Regards, Qiufang From: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com [ma= ilto:mohamed.boucadair@orange.com] Sent: Friday, September 27, 2024 4:55 PM To: maqiufang (A) >; dr= aft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org Cc: netmod@ietf.org Subject: RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis Re-, Good points. Updated the text accordingly. Please check Diff: draft-ietf-ne= tmod-rfc8407bis.txt - draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt and let me know if this is O= K with you. Thanks. Cheers, Med De : maqiufang (A) > Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 10:38 =C0 : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET >; draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org Cc : netmod@ietf.org Objet : RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis Hi, Med, Thanks for resolving my comments, please also find my responses below inlin= e. Besides, if this draft is referenced somewhere by other documents because o= f, e.g., quotation of the tree diagram generation text in sec.3.4, use the= Security Considerations Section template in sec.3.7.1, should this draft b= e listed as an informative or normative reference? Should this be stated in= sec.3.4 and sec.3.7.1 where a reference exists (or somewhere else)? Best Regards, Qiufang From: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com [ma= ilto:mohamed.boucadair@orange.com] Sent: Friday, September 27, 2024 3:49 PM To: maqiufang (A) >; dr= aft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org Cc: netmod@ietf.org Subject: RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis Hi Qiufang, Thank you for the careful review. The diff to track the changes can be found here: Diff: draft-ietf-netmod-rf= c8407bis.txt - draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt Please see inline for more context. Cheers, Med De : maqiufang (A) > Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 08:07 =C0 : draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org Cc : netmod@ietf.org Objet : shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis Hi, authors, WG, As part of my shepherd write-up for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis, I've revi= ewed the latest version of the draft and have got some editorial comments (= most of which are nits), hopefully they could be fixed before progressing t= he document. The Idnits complains of some error= s and warnings, some of which I think are valid and need to be fixed before= publication : =B7 There is 1 instance of too long lines in the document, the long= est one being 2 characters in excess of 72. The line where the when expression is located in sec.4..6.4: when 'derived-= from-or-self(rt:address-family, "v4ur:ipv4-unicast")' { [Med] Fixed. Thanks. =B7 Downref: Normative reference to an Informational RFC: RFC 8792 Could this be fixed as informative reference? [Med] This one is normative. Please note that 8792 is already listed in htt= ps://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/downref. Thanks for the information, well noted. =B7 -- Obsolete informational reference (is this intentional?): R= FC 7223 (Obsoleted by RFC 8343) Better to fix the reference to RFC 7223 with 8343 (which also defines the i= dentical example) in section 4.19.1? [Med] The citation of 7223 is intentional. See, e.g., =3D For example, the "ietf-interfaces" model in [RFC7223] has been restr= uctured as an NMDA-compatible model in [RFC8343]. =3D The reference above is good for me, what I am referring to is another refer= ence of 7223 in sec4.19.1(see below), which I think might be better to be r= eplaced with RFC 8343 (RFC 8343 defines that example as well). Agreed? The following example from [RFC7223] shows how a conditional container called "ethernet" is added to the "interface" list only for entries of the type "ethernetCsmacd". augment "/if:interfaces/if:interface" { when "if:type =3D 'ianaift:ethernetCsmacd'"; container ethernet { leaf duplex { ... } } } Section 4.14 specifies a set of YANG statements that MUST have a descriptio= n substatement, but I don't think anydata should be omitted here. Thoughts? [Med] This list is inherited from 8407, which in its turn was inherited fro= m 6087. anydata wasn't in 6087 because it wasn't defined at the time in 602= 0. I don't have the context whether this was considered by the WG in the pa= st, but I'm afraid that adding this mandatory will break existing models. F= or example, pyang does not make that check for anydata, while it is in plac= e for anyxml. I suggest we leave the list as it is. That seems like a valid concern for this NBC update, I am okay with keeping= this as it is, if there is no objections from others. Other nits: =B7 Section 4.5 OLD: presence "When present, indicates type foo" NEW: presence "When present, indicates type foo"; (missing = the semicolon) [Med] ACK. OLD: presence "When present, indicates type bar" NEW: presence "When present, indicates type bar"; (missing = the semicolon) [Med] ACK. OLD: Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defi= ning a constraint on state data and specifies that the constrai= nt must be true in a valid state data. NEW: Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a provision for defi= ning constraints on state data and specifies that the constra= int must be true in a valid state data tree. [Med] OK, with s/ that the constraint/ that a constraint Note this as well: s/in a valid state data/in a valid state data tree/, agr= eed? =B7 Section 4.20 OLD: max-elements 10; NEW: max-elements 10; Please consider indenting a space here. [Med] OK. =B7 Section 4.24 s/ min-entries/min-elements s/max-entries/max-elements [Med] Good catch! This was inherited from 8470. =B7 Section 5.1 OLD: Name: iana-template Maintained by IANA? N Namespace: urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template Prefix: iana-foo Reference: RFC AAAA NEW: Name: iana-template Maintained by IANA? Y Namespace: urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:iana-template Prefix: iana-foo Reference: RFC AAAA [Med] The OLD is OK. The template is not maintained by IANA. =B7 Appendix A OLD: "IETF NETMOD (NETCONF Data Modeling Language) Working Group"; NEW: "IETF NETMOD (Network Modeling) Working Group"; Or, "IETF your-wg-name (expansion) Working Group", to be consistent with th= e info in contact statement. [Med] Works for me. =B7 Appendix C The IETF Trust Copyright statement for the iana-template module doesn't see= m to be correct. s/Simplified/Revised/? [Med] ACK. Best Regards, Qiufang ___________________________________________________________________________= _________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confiden= tielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu= ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. 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Les messages el= ectroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration, Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou = falsifie. Merci. This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged inf= ormation that may be protected by law; they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and dele= te this message and its attachments. As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been = modified, changed or falsified. Thank you. --_000_DU2PR02MB10160594A1FF1E3FE19E3FEE9886B2DU2PR02MB10160eu_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Re-,

 

Great. Thanks for checking.

 

-17 is now public : https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis/17/ &n= bsp;

 

Cheers,

Med

 

De : maqiufang (A) <maqiufang1=3D40hu= awei.com@dmarc.ietf.org>
Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 11:16
=C0 : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET <mohamed.boucadair@orange.= com>; draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org
Cc : netmod@ietf.org
Objet : RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

 

Thanks = Med, the update looks good to me, could you please go ahead with submission= ? I will then update and submit my write-up on Datatracker.

&n= bsp;

Best Re= gards,

Qiufang=

From: mohamed.boucadair@orange.co= m [mailto:mohamed.bouca= dair@orange.com]
Sent: Friday, September 27, 2024 4:55 PM
To: maqiufang (A) <maqiu= fang1@huawei.com>; draft-ietf-netmod-= rfc8407bis@ietf.org
Cc: netmod@ietf.org
Subject: RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

 

Re-,

 

Good= points. Updated the text accordingly. Please check Diff: draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt - draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt and let me know if this is OK with you. Thanks.

 

Chee= rs,

Med<= o:p>

 

De : maqiuf= ang (A) <maq= iufang1=3D40huawei.com@dmarc.ietf.org>
Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 10:38
=C0 : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET <mohamed.boucadair@orange.com>; draft-ietf-netmod-= rfc8407bis@ietf.org
Cc : netmod@ietf.org
Objet : RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

 

Hi, Med,

 

Thanks for resolving my comments, pl= ease also find my responses below inline.

 

Besides, if this draft is referenced= somewhere by other documents because of, e.g., quotation of  the tree= diagram generation text in sec.3.4, use the Security Considerations Section template in sec.3.7.1, should this draft b= e listed as an informative or normative reference? Should this be stated in= sec.3.4 and sec.3.7.1 where a reference exists (or somewhere else)?

 

Best Regards,

Qiufang

 

From: mohamed.boucadair@orange.co= m [mailto:mohamed.bouca= dair@orange.com]
Sent: Friday, September 27, 2024 3:49 PM
To: maqiufang (A) <maqiu= fang1@huawei.com>; draft-ietf-netmod-= rfc8407bis@ietf.org
Cc: netmod@ietf.org
Subject: RE: shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

 

Hi Qiufang,

 

Than= k you for the careful review.

 

The = diff to track the changes can be found here: Diff: draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt - draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis.txt

 

Plea= se see inline for more context.

 

Chee= rs,

Med<= o:p>

 

De : maqiuf= ang (A) <maq= iufang1=3D40huawei.com@dmarc.ietf.org>
Envoy=E9 : vendredi 27 septembre 2024 08:07
=C0 : = draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis@ietf.org
Cc : netmod@ietf.org
Objet : shepherd review for draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis

 

Hi= , authors, WG,

 

As part of my shepherd write-up for draft-ietf-netmod-rf=
c8407bis, I've reviewed the latest version of the draft and have got some e=
ditorial comments (most of which are nits), hopefully they could be fixed b=
efore progressing the document.

 

Th= e Idnits complains of some errors and warnings, some of which I think are= valid and need to be fixed before publication :

=B7         There is 1 instance of = too long lines in the document, the longest one being 2 characters in exces= s of 72.

The line where the when expression is located in sec.4..6.4: when 'derived-from-or-self(rt:= address-family, "v4ur:ipv4-unicast")' {

 

[Med] Fixed. Thank= s.

 =

=B7         Downref: Normative refe= rence to an Informational RFC: RFC 8792

Could this be fixed as informative reference?

 

[Med] This one is normati= ve. Please note that 8792 is already listed in https://datatracker.ie= tf.org/doc/downref.

Thanks for the information, well not= ed.

=B7           -- Obsolete= informational reference (is this intentional?): RFC 7223 (Obsoleted by RFC= 8343)

Better to fix the reference to RFC 7223 with 8343 (which also defines= the identical example) in section 4.19.1?

 

[Med] The citation of 722= 3 is intentional. See, e.g.,

 <= /i>

=3D=

For example, the "ietf-interfaces" model in&n= bsp;[RFC7223] has been restructured as an NMDA-compatible model in [RFC8343]. <= /p>

=3D=

The reference above is good for me, = what I am referring to is another reference of 7223 in sec4.19.1(see below)= , which I think might be better to be replaced with RFC 8343 (RFC 8343 defines that example as well). Agreed?<= /span>

The following example from [RFC7223] shows how a conditional

   container called "ethernet" is added to the "i= nterface" list only for

   entries of the type "ethernetCsmacd".

        augment "/if:interfaces/if= :interface" {

            when &q= uot;if:type =3D 'ianaift:ethernetCsmacd'";

 

            contain= er ethernet {

            &n= bsp;   leaf duplex {

            &n= bsp;       ...

            &n= bsp;   }

            }<= /o:p>

        }

 

Se= ction 4.14 specifies a set of YANG statements that MUST have a description = substatement, but I don’t think anydata should be omitted here. Thoug= hts?

[Med] This list is inheri= ted from 8407, which in its turn was inherited from 6087. anydata wasn̵= 7;t in 6087 because it wasn’t defined at the time in 6020. I don’t have the context whether this was considered by the WG in th= e past, but I’m afraid that adding this mandatory will break existing= models. For example, pyang does not make that check for anydata, while it = is in place for anyxml. I suggest we leave the list as it is.

That seems like a valid concern for = this NBC update, I am okay with keeping this as it is, if there is no objec= tions from others.

Ot= her nits:         

=B7         Section 4.5<= /span>

&n= bsp;            = ;   OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type foo&qu= ot;

&n= bsp;            = ;   NEW: presence "When present, indicates type foo"; (= missing the semicolon)

[Med] ACK.=

&n= bsp;            = ;  

&n= bsp;            = ;   OLD:  presence "When present, indicates type bar&qu= ot;

&n= bsp;            = ;   NEW: presence "When present, indicates type bar"; (= missing the semicolon)

[Med] ACK.=

&n= bsp;            = ;  

&n= bsp;            = ;   OLD:

&n= bsp;            = ;        Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includ= es a provision for defining a

&n= bsp;            = ;      constraint on state data and specifies that the = constraint must be

&n= bsp;            = ;      true in a valid state data. 

&n= bsp;            = ;   NEW:

&n= bsp;            = ;        Section 8.1 of [RFC7950] includes a = provision for defining

&n= bsp;            = ;      constraints on state data and specifies that the= constraint must be

&n= bsp;            = ;      true in a valid state data tree. 

[Med] OK, with s/<= /i> that the constraint/ that a constraint<= span lang=3D"EN-US" style=3D"font-family:"Courier New"">

Note this as well: s/in a valid stat= e data/in a valid state data tree/, agreed?

=B7         Section 4.20=

OLD:  max-elements  10;

NEW: max-elements 10;

&n= bsp;            = ;   Please consider indenting a space here.

[Med] OK.<= span lang=3D"EN-US" style=3D"font-family:"Courier New"">

 

=B7         Section 4.24=

s/ min-entries/min-elements

s/max-entries/max-elements

 

[Med] Good catch! = This was inherited from 8470.

 =

=B7         Section 5.1<= /span>

OLD:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  N=

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:n= s:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA

NEW:

      Name:  iana-template

      Maintained by IANA?  Y=

      Namespace:  urn:ietf:params:xml:n= s:yang:iana-template

      Prefix:  iana-foo

      Reference:  RFC AAAA

 

[Med] The OLD is O= K. The template is not maintained by IANA.

 =

=B7         Appendix A

OLD: "IETF NETMOD (NETCONF Data Modeling Language) Working Group= ";

NEW: "IETF NETMOD (Network Modeling) Working Group";

Or, “IETF your-wg-name (expansion) Working Group”, to be = consistent with the info in contact statement.

[Med] Works for me= .

 

=B7         Appendix C

The IETF Trust Copyright statement for the iana-template module doesn= ’t seem to be correct.

s/Simplified/Revised/?

[Med] ACK.<= /i><= o:p>

 

Be= st Regards,

Qi= ufang

 

_______________________________________________=
_____________________________________________________________
Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent conten=
ir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc=

pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans aut=
orisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler
a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pie=
ces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration,
Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce messa=
ge a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci.
 
This message and its attachments may contain co=
nfidential or privileged information that may be protected by law;
they should not be distributed, used or copied =
without authorisation.
If you have received this email in error, pleas=
e notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments.=

As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable =
for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified.
Thank you.
_________________________________________=
___________________________________________________________________
Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent =
contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent don=
c
pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sa=
ns autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signa=
ler
a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que l=
es pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alterati=
on,
Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce=
 message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci.
 
This message and its attachments may cont=
ain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law;
they should not be distributed, used or c=
opied without authorisation.
If you have received this email in error,=
 please notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments.=

As emails may be altered, Orange is not l=
iable for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified.
Thank you.
____________________________________________________________=
________________________________________________
Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confiden=
tielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc
pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu=
 ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler
a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages el=
ectroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration,
Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou =
falsifie. Merci.

This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged inf=
ormation that may be protected by law;
they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation.
If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and dele=
te this message and its attachments.
As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been =
modified, changed or falsified.
Thank you.
--_000_DU2PR02MB10160594A1FF1E3FE19E3FEE9886B2DU2PR02MB10160eu_--