Re: [nfsv4] Draft is updated following your comments, Thanks//答复: draft-mzhang-nfsv4-sequence-id-calibration-01

[Thomas Haynes <[e-mail]>]

Hi Jing,

The biggest mechanical issue appears to be the way you are making edits. I.e., I suspect you use some tool to convert to XML for draft submission.

You might want to consider just editing the raw XML from this point on.


1) In here:

    <note title="Requirements Language">
      <t>The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT",
      "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in this
      document are to be interpreted as described in <xref
      target="RFC2119">RFC 2119</xref>.</t>
    </note>

You need to have the tags of "<bcp14>MUST</bcp14>”, for each one.

2) And in the text, you have:

&lt;bcp14&gt;MUST&lt;/bcp14&gt;

It must be <bcp14>MUST</bcp14>.

I.e., this has to be in the XML output and not whatever you are running to submit the draft. 


3) In here:

      <section title="Operation 16:CB_SEQUENCE_QUERY- Query backchannel sequence ID of designated session and slot for calibration">
        <section title="ARGUMENT">
          <t>&lt;CODE BEGINS&gt;</t>

          <t>/// /*</t>

          <t>/// * callback program structure for sequenceid query</t>

          <t>/// */</t>

          <t>/// struct CB_SEQUENCE_QUERY4args {</t>

          <t>/// sessionid4 csqa_sessionid;</t>

          <t>/// slotid4 csqa_slotid;</t>

          <t>/// };</t>

          <t>&lt;CODE ENDS&gt;</t>
        </section>

It should be:

      <section title="Operation 16:CB_SEQUENCE_QUERY- Query backchannel sequence ID of designated session and slot for calibration">
       <sourcecode name="" type="" markers="true"><![CDATA[
   /// /*
   /// * callback program structure for sequenceid query
   /// */
   /// struct CB_SEQUENCE_QUERY4args {
   /// sessionid4 csqa_sessionid;
   /// slotid4 csqa_slotid;
   /// };
      </sourcecode>
    
Again, this is the raw XML and not whatever markup language/tool you are using.

4) While you have updated the operation numbers, please mention that this draft updates RFC7862 and not RFC8881.

You should consider adding text like this in the Introduction:

  <t>
    Using the process detailed in <xref target="RFC8178" format="default"
    sectionFormat="of"/>, the revisions in this document become an
    extension of NFSv4.2 <xref target="RFC7862" format="default"
    sectionFormat="of"/>. They are built on top of the external data
    representation (XDR) <xref target="RFC4506" format="default"
    sectionFormat="of"/> generated from <xref target="RFC7863"
    format="default" sectionFormat="of"/>.
  </t>


5) You should consider a section like Section 6 in https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-nfsv4-delstid/

6) When you reference a RFC, you have it straight like this: RFC8881

You need to cite it like this: <xref target="RFC8881" format="default" sectionFormat="of"/>

Tom

  


> On Apr 9, 2023, at 11:38 PM, yangjing (U) <[e-mail]> wrote:
> 
> Hi Thomas，
>  
> Thanks for you detailed instructions.
> The draft is updated as https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-mzhang-nfsv4-sequence-id-calibration-02.txt
>  
> Regards
> Jing
>  
> 发件人: Thomas Haynes [mailto:[e-mail]] 
> 发送时间: 2023年4月7日 2:21 AM
> 收件人: yangjing (U) <[e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>>
> 抄送: [e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>
> 主题: Re: draft-mzhang-nfsv4-sequence-id-calibration-01
>  
>  
>  
> Some nits on draft-mzhang-nfsv4-sequence-id-calibration-01:
>  
> 1) Please mark the Operation numbers as needing assignment before publication.
>  
> BTW: You can look at https://github.com/loghyr/nfsv42_xdr for an unofficial copy of the current XDR.
>  
>  
> 2) In the ARGUMENTS sections, when you have things like:
>  
> struct SEQUENCE_QUERY4args {
>  
>    sessionid4 sqa_sessionid;
>  
>    slotid4 sqa_slotid;
>  
>    };
>  
> Please fix these up like this example from my delstid:
>  
>     <sourcecode name="" type="" markers="true"><![CDATA[
> ///
> /// /*
> ///  * attributes for the delegation times being
> ///  * cached and served by the "client"
> ///  */
> /// typedef nfstime4        fattr4_time_deleg_access;
> /// typedef nfstime4        fattr4_time_deleg_modify;
> ///
>  ]]>
>     </sourcecode>
>  
> Please follow the convention of allowing the XDR to be stripped out by parsing the ‘///‘
>  
>  
> 3) For the Requirements Language, please use the bcp14 tag
>  
> “MUST” -> "<bcp14>MUST</bcp14>”
>  
> Note: You need to use this tag every place you use the keywords.