Re: [OPSAWG] Fwd: New Version Notification for draft-ietf-opsawg-mud-21.txt

[Eliot Lear <[e-mail]>]

Thank you, Joe.  Barring objections, I will hold these as editorial and
work with the RFC Editor on them.

Eliot

On 17.05.18 18:13, Joe Clarke wrote:
> On 5/17/18 11:36, Eliot Lear wrote:
> > Hi everyone,
>
> > This draft is intended to address all IESG comments.  Thanks to the
> > IESG and reviewers for their contributions.  A summary of the
> > changes is below, but people may wish to do a side by side review.
>
> Thanks for working with the IESG to resolve the major comments.
>
> I have a few additional on this draft.
>
> Section 1.7
>
> s/URL that the thing emitted/URL that the Thing emitted/
>
> ===
>
> Section 2.1
>
> You changed container "mud" to component "mud" here likely to be
> consistent with the use of component in the other two bullets.
> However, because "mud" is quoted, it seems like you are directly
> referring to the mud container in the YANG model.  Maybe drop the
> "mud" or say:
>
> the first component, the "mud" container, ...
>
> ===
>
> Section 4.6
>
> s/each every/each and every/
>
> ===
>
> Section 4.8
>
> s/This MUST only applied to TCP.  this/This only applies to TCP.  This/
>
> Not sure if that's what you want to say.
>
> ===
>
> Section 7
>
> You didn't bump the revision with this YANG module update.  This can
> mess up some tooling we have.  Can I ask that you bump this at least
> once before final publication?
>
> ===
>
> Section 7
>
> I'm not a YANG doctor, but I see formatting inconsistencies in this
> module.  It would benefit from running it through pyang -f yang to
> normalize the formatting.
>
> ===
>
> Section 8.3
>
> The same is true here.  A pyang -f yang will normalize the formatting.
>
> ===
>
> Section 9
>
> Suggestion to add documentation to your example MUD file just to hint
> at this being a good behavior for the benefit of admins.
>
> ===
>
> Section 13
>
> s/To insure that/To ensure that/
>
> ===
>
> Section 13.2
>
> s/that the verification step match/that the verification step matches/
>
> ===
>
> Section 15
>
> s/alloewed/allowed/
>
> ===
>
> Section 16
>
> s/occured/occurred/
>
> ===
>
> Section 17.1
>
> s/registred/registered/
>
> ===
>
> Appendix B
>
> s/overriden/overridden/
>
> Joe
>
>
> > Eliot
>
>
> > * Small edits to the abstract * Clarity in the introduction that
> > the focus is on protecting the device. * Many grammatical/wording
> > improvements * Clarity when MUD is most effective. * MUD controller
> > -> MUD manager * Normative language boiler plate change * Clarity
> > on what should happen when a MUD manager can't reach a MUD file
> > server * A few reference updates * Clarity on the validity time of
> > a MUD file * Added references to RFCs 5911 and 5912 for SMI
> > changes * one additional data element (documentation) * one change
> > based on an update to the ACL model during its last call *
> > Subsection numbering for node descriptions. * Improved text around
> > "controller", direction-initiated. * Simplified MUD-URL text. *
> > Optional reserved space added to DHCP, LLDP options * Simplified
> > DHCP processing. * A new certificate field to bind the manufacturer
> > certificate to the mud signer. * A content type definition for the
> > SMI. * Updated security considerations.
>
>
>
>