[Pals] Shepherd review for draft-ietf-pals-vccv-for-gal-02

"Andrew G. Malis" <agmalis@gmail.com> Mon, 02 March 2015 20:39 UTC

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From: "Andrew G. Malis" <agmalis@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 2015 15:38:49 -0500
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To: Stewart Bryant <stbryant@cisco.com>
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Subject: [Pals] Shepherd review for draft-ietf-pals-vccv-for-gal-02
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This is my Shepherd review of draft-ietf-pals-vccv-for-gal-02, and should
be treated the same as any other WG LC comments on the draft.

The draft is pretty much ready for publication. I found some typographical
errors that should be corrected prior to publication.

- The acronym "LSE" (Label Stack Entry) is used throughout without ever
being expanded. It should be expanded on its first use in Section 1.

- The bit numbering above the packet diagram in figure 3 is incorrect. It
should read:

    0                   1                   2                   3
    0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1

   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |                            PW LSE                             |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |                           GAL LSE                             |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |0 0 0 1|Version|   Reserved    |        Channel Type           |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |                                                               |
   ~                        VCCV Message Body                      ~
   |                                                               |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+



- There is a typo with respect to the reference to Section 1 in the first
paragraph of Section 7.

- In Section 9.1, I think "recommended" should be "requested".

- In Section 10, "let" should be "led".

Thanks,
Andy