[Pals] Warren Kumari's No Objection on draft-ietf-pals-p2mp-pw-lsp-ping-03: (with COMMENT)

Warren Kumari <warren@kumari.net> Wed, 21 June 2017 15:26 UTC

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Subject: [Pals] Warren Kumari's No Objection on draft-ietf-pals-p2mp-pw-lsp-ping-03: (with COMMENT)
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Warren Kumari has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-pals-p2mp-pw-lsp-ping-03: No Objection

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COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I like the solution, but the document could do with some editing.

Major:
1: Sec 1.  Introduction
O:  Multi-segment Pseudowires support is out of scope of this document at 
present and may be included in future. P:  Multi-segment Pseudowires support is
out of scope of this document. C: Once published as an RFC, the document
doesn't change. Could be "... may be addressed in a future document", but I'd
suggest leaving it out.

2: General
The document has many unexpanded acronyms, e.g: ACH in "... MPLS label stack
and IPv4 or IPv6 ACH."  In the Introduction you have: "such as P2MP ATM over
PSN." - while PSN might count as a well known acronym, it feels like, in an
Intro it should be less opaque - see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt for RFC known
acronyms.

3: The "Controlling Echo Responses" section feels weak -- it says that  "The
procedures ... **can** be applied to P2MP PW LSP Ping." (emphasis added) - it
feels like this should be a SHOULD? I think better a description of the DoS
implications (other than just pointing at RFC6425) is also important.

Nits:
1: The document would benefit from some serious grammar checking -- e.g:
"... Echo Request to inform the receiver at P2MP MPLS LSP tail, of the P2MP PW
being tested." - extra ','. "For Inclusive P-Trees, P2MP MPLS LSP label itself
can uniquely identify the Throughout the document..." - missing 'the' - things
like this, and confusion over plurals (especially near acronyms) makes the
document hard to read / review.

2: "P2MP ATM over PSN.   Requirements for ... " - extra space (nit!)

3: Sec 8.  Security Considerations
"The proposal introduced in this document does not introduce any new security
considerations beyond that already apply to [RFC6425]." -- this sentence is
poorly formed. Perhaps "beyond those that..."? Or "beyond those in"?