Re: [Pce] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-pce-stateful-hpce-11

[Dhruv Dhody <[e-mail]>]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your review, please see inline...

On Tue, Aug 20, 2019 at 9:58 PM Paul Kyzivat <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-pce-stateful-hpce-11
> Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
> Review Date: 2019-08-20
> IETF LC End Date: 2019-08-28
> IESG Telechat date: ?
>
> Summary:
>
> This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should
> be fixed before publication.
>
> Issues:
>
> Major: 0
> Minor: 0
> Nits:  7
>
> 1) NIT: No glossary
>
> Since I am not familiar with the subject domain, when I started reading
> this document I felt I was lost among the acronyms. While you are good
> at defining these at first use, I couldn't keep them all in mind as I
> read. I had to create my own glossary to support me while reading. I
> would really appreciate having a glossary in the document.
>

Added.

> 2) NIT: Inconsistent terminology
>
> In section 3 two pairs of terms are introduced: (C-E / E-C) and (EC-EP /
> EP-EC). IIUC in the first pair "E" stands for "PCE" while in the second
> pair "E" seems to stand for "Extended", while "P" stands for PCE. I
> found this very confusing. I think it would be better to allow "E" to
> mean the same thing in both pairs. Perhaps you could use "X" to stand
> for "eXtended". Then there would be clear parallels:
>
> C -> XC
> E -> XE
>
> Please consider doing something relieve the confusion.
>

The use of notation C-E and E-C is as per RFC 8231
https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc8231#section-4 where PCC to PCE is
(C-E) and PCE to PCC is (E-C). In this document we wanted to represent
messages between C-PCE (child PCE) to P-PCE (parent PCE) and we used
EC-EP for it and the reverse EP-EC for P-PCE to C-PCE communication.

This was discussed during shepherd review as well (as we were using CE
and PE before but that was causing confusion because of the well known
meaning of those terms in routing).

I would like to keep the existing notations that has WG support.

> 3) NIT: Badly formed sentence
>
> I can't parse this sentence in section 3.1:
>
>     Procedures as described in [RFC6805] are applied and where the
>     ingress C-PCE (Child PCE), triggers a path computation request for
>     the LER in the domain where the LSP originates, sends a request to
>     the P-PCE.
>
> Can you rephrase it?
>

Updated.

> 4) NIT: Unclear text
>
> In section 3.1 are steps A/B/C/D to be added at the *end*, after step
> 11? It would help to be explicit.
>
> In step (C) of section 3.2, can you please be explicit about which node
> is to execute these elements? I think it is PCE5, but I'm not certain.
>

Updated.

> 5) NIT: Unlinked references
>
> Some RFC references (e.g. [RFC8051] and [RFC8231] in section 1.1, and
> [RFC8232] in section 3.1) are not linked in the HTML version. I suggest
> a global search for all such unlinked references in the source.
>

The HTML version of the draft is automatically generated from the text
version. The `rfcmarkup` is used to render the HTML of the I-D/sRFCs.
Specifically, rfcmarkup produces the final HTML using heuristics from
the source TXT and this is beyond the control of the authors.

> 6) NIT: Bad reference link
>
> In the following from section 3.1:
>
>     Steps 1 to 11 are exactly as described in section 4.6.2 (Hierarchical
>     PCE End-to-End Path Computation Procedure) of [RFC6805], the
>
> the "section 4.6.2" is linked to the non-existent section 4.6.2 of
> *this* document rather than RFC6805.
>
> A similar link to the same spot in section 3.2 is ok.
>

I arranged the words so that rfcmarkup works.

> 7) NIT: Outdated references:
>
> IdNits reports outdated references. I trust these will be updated in due
> course.
>

Updated.

Working Copy: https://github.com/dhruvdhody/ietf/blob/master/draft-ietf-pce-stateful-hpce-12.txt
Diff: https://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url1=draft-ietf-pce-stateful-hpce-11&url2=https://raw.githubusercontent.com/dhruvdhody/ietf/master/draft-ietf-pce-stateful-hpce-12.txt

Thanks!
Dhruv