Re: [pim] Last Call: <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-10.txt> (A YANG data model for Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) and Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD)) to Proposed Standard

tom petch <daedulus@btconnect.com> Sat, 26 January 2019 16:57 UTC

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From: tom petch <daedulus@btconnect.com>
To: "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>
CC: "pim-chairs@ietf.org" <pim-chairs@ietf.org>, "pim@ietf.org" <pim@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Last Call: <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-10.txt> (A YANG data model for Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) and Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD)) to Proposed Standard
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Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2019 16:57:25 +0000
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Subject: Re: [pim] Last Call: <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-10.txt> (A YANG data model for Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) and Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD)) to Proposed Standard
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Some initial  thoughts on this I-D

Prefer 'Abstract' before 'Copyright' and 'Status'

   | acl       | ietf-access-control-list | [I-D.ietf-acl-yang] |
better to have
   | acl       | ietf-access-control-list | [RFC YYYY] |
Note to RFC Editor please replace YYYY with number assigned to draft-
ietf-netmod-acl-model

YANG module needs the Copyright statement

4. IGMP and MLD YANG Modules
suggests that there are two modules but I only see one

      import ietf-inet-types {
and other imports need a reference clause to identify the RFC; for acl
you need such as
RFC YYYY "Network Access Control List (ACL) YANG Data Model",
Note to RFC Editor please replace YYYY with number assigned to draft-
ietf-netmod-acl-model
( you can put all RFC Editor Notes in one place at the front - they
prefer it this way)

      revision 2019-01-03 {
there must only be one revision clause stating 'Initial revision' with
date of publication supplied by RFC Editor to match that on the file
statement

several lines are too long e.g.
             If QQIC >= 128, QQIC represents a floating-point value as
follows:

5. Security Considerations
   transport is TLS [RFC5246].
this is now superseded

6. IANA Considerations
   Names registry [RFC7950]:
this is a poor reference since all it does is tell you to go to RFC6020;
better to tell the reader to go straight there.

   [I-D.ietf-netmod-rfc6087bis] Bierman, A., "Guidelines for Authors
this is now out of date - RFC8407
(and it tells you to do most of what I have listed above:-)

Tom Petch

----- Original Message -----
From: "The IESG" <iesg-secretary@ietf.org>;
To: "IETF-Announce" <ietf-announce@ietf.org>;
Cc: <pim-chairs@ietf.org>;; <pim@ietf.org>;;
<draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang@ietf.org>;
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2019 8:28 PM

>
> The IESG has received a request from the Protocols for IP Multicast WG
(pim)
> to consider the following document: - 'A YANG data model for Internet
Group
> Management Protocol (IGMP) and
>    Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD)'
>   <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-10.txt> as Proposed Standard
>
> The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and solicits
final
> comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the
> ietf@ietf.org mailing lists by 2019-02-08. Exceptionally, comments may
be
> sent to iesg@ietf.org instead. In either case, please retain the
beginning of
> the Subject line to allow automated sorting.
>
> Abstract
>
>
>    This document defines a YANG data model that can be used to
>    configure and manage Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) and
>    Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD) devices.
>
>
>
>
> The file can be obtained via
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang/
>
> IESG discussion can be tracked via
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang/ballot/
>
>
> No IPR declarations have been submitted directly on this I-D.
>
>
>
>