Re: [proto-team] revision of draft-ietf-proto-wgchair-doc-shepherding attached

[Henrik Levkowetz <[e-mail]>]

Hi again,

on 2006-06-09 17:35 Henrik Levkowetz said the following:
[Lars]
>> I missed two instances of the term questionnaire. If I change those  
>> to write-up, will this be OK? Or do you want to go through the  
>> document and look at all places where the write-up is mentioned and  
>> check which term should be used?
> 
> I'll go through the document.  Maybe not with a fine-toothed comb, but
> enough to suggest appropriate changes, I hope.

It seems to me that the two instances of questionnaire are OK.  But I
believe the following paragraphs should be fixed.  Possible proposals
inline:

Section 3.1, paragraph 3:

>    The second part of the task is to prepare the Document Shepherd
>    Write-Up that is input to both the ballot for the IESG telechat and
>    to the eventual IETF-wide announcement message.  Item number (1.i)
>    describes the elements of this write-up.  Please see other protocol
>    announcements in the IETF Announce archive for examples of such
>    write-ups.

	s/Document Shepherd Write-Up that is/document summary that is/
	s/elements of this write-up/elements of this summary/
	s/such write-ups/such summaries/


Section 3.1, paragraph 12:

>    (1.i)  For Standards Track and BCP documents, the IESG approval
>           announcement includes a write-up.  Please provide such a
>           write-up.  Recent examples can be found in the "Action"
>           announcements for approved documents.  The approval
>           announcement contains the following sections:

	s/write-up/document summary/g


Regards,

	Henrik

_______________________________________________
proto-team mailing list
[e-mail]
https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/proto-team