Re: [proto-team] revision of draft-ietf-proto-wgchair-doc-shepherding attached

[Henrik Levkowetz <[e-mail]>]

Hi Lars,

You've put quite a bit of work into this, I see.  Overall I like it,
but I have one major disagreement:

        I'm not especially thrilled with the elevation of "PROTO" from
        something associated with the PROTO team to a term specifically
        for this process improvement.  The previous version of the
        document didn't go as far as this goes, and I'd rather see us
        move from reference to the 'PROTO' process to simply 'the
        Shepherding process' or 'the Document Shepherding process'.
	
	In line with this, I'd propose to change any reference to
	PROTO Write-Up to 'Document Shepherd Write-Up' throughout the
	document.

Lesser comments:


INTRODUCTION, paragraph 14:

>    This document describes methodologies that have been designed to
>    improve and facilitate IETF document flow processing.  It specifies a
>    set of procedures under which a working group chair or secretary
>    serves as the primary Document Shepherd for a document that has been
>    submitted to the IESG for publication.  Before this, the shepherding
>    role has traditionally been filled by the Responsible Area Director
>    for the working group.

        s/Responsible Area Director/Area Director responsible/


INTRODUCTION, paragraph 19:

>    In summary, a Document Shepherd continues to care for a shepherded
>    document during its post-WG lifetime similar to how how he or she has
>    done while responsible for the document in a working group.

        s/how how/the way/
        s/done while/cared for it while/


Section 1., paragraph 1:

>    Early in 2004, the IESG undertook several experiments aimed at
>    evaluating whether any of the proposed changes to the IETF document
>    flow process would yield qualitative improvements in document
>    throughput and quality.  One such experiment, referred to as the
>    "PROTO process" or "PROTO" (because it was created by the "PROcess
>    and TOols" or PROTO [PROTO] team, is a set of methodologies designed
>    to involve working group chairs or secretaries more directly in their
>    documents' approval life cycle.  In particular, the PROTO team
>    focused on improvements to that part of a document's life cycle that
>    occurs after the working group and document editor have forwarded it
>    to the IESG for publication.

        s/improvements to that part/imrovements to the part/


Section 3.3., paragraph 10:

>    (3.e)  The Document Shepherd then communicates the DISCUSS and
>           COMMENT items to the document authors, the working group.

        s/authors, the working group/authors and the working group/


Section 3.3., paragraph 19:

>    (3.i)  The Responsible Area Director moves document to the "Approved
>           - Announcement to be sent" state in the ID Tracker, or, if he
>           or she deems the changes to the revised document significant,
>           issues a new WG last call.  In the latter case, the document
>           may go through a full IESG Evaluation process again.

        Is it really the AD that issues the new WG last call??


Regards,

	Henrik


_______________________________________________
proto-team mailing list
[e-mail]
https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/proto-team