Re: [quicwg/base-drafts] Editorial suggestions on TLS (#3818)

[Martin Thomson <[e-mail]>]

@martinthomson approved this pull request.

Thanks for doing this Mike.  It's telling how often I make the same mistakes.  I'd say "at least I was consistent, but I don't think that I was :)

Just a few tweaks and we're good.

> +derived from the Destination Connection ID in the client's first Initial packet
+(see {{initial-secrets}}). This provides protection against off-path attackers

```suggestion
derived from the Destination Connection ID in the client's first Initial packet;
see {{initial-secrets}}. This provides protection against off-path attackers
```

> @@ -973,7 +975,7 @@ order are left-padded with zeros to the size of the IV.  The exclusive OR of the
 padded packet number and the IV forms the AEAD nonce.
 
 The associated data, A, for the AEAD is the contents of the QUIC header,
-starting from the flags byte in either the short or long header, up to and
+starting from the initial byte of either the short or long header, up to and

```suggestion
starting from the first byte of either the short or long header, up to and
```

"initial" is a little loaded.

> @@ -1085,13 +1087,13 @@ Short Header Packet {
 ~~~
 {: #fig-sample title="Header Protection and Ciphertext Sample"}
 
-Before a TLS ciphersuite can be used with QUIC, a header protection algorithm
-MUST be specified for the AEAD used with that ciphersuite.  This document
-defines algorithms for AEAD_AES_128_GCM, AEAD_AES_128_CCM, AEAD_AES_256_GCM
-(all AES AEADs are defined in {{!AEAD=RFC5116}}), and
-AEAD_CHACHA20_POLY1305 {{!CHACHA=RFC8439}}.  Prior to TLS selecting a
-ciphersuite, AES header protection is used ({{hp-aes}}), matching the
-AEAD_AES_128_GCM packet protection.
+Before a TLS cipher suite can be used with QUIC, a header protection algorithm
+MUST be specified for the AEAD used with that cipher suite.  This document
+defines algorithms for AEAD_AES_128_GCM, AEAD_AES_128_CCM, AEAD_AES_256_GCM (all
+AES AEADs are defined in {{!AEAD=RFC5116}}), and AEAD_CHACHA20_POLY1305 (defined

```suggestion
these AES AEADs are defined in {{!AEAD=RFC5116}}), and AEAD_CHACHA20_POLY1305 (defined
```

> @@ -1110,7 +1112,7 @@ sample.
 To ensure that sufficient data is available for sampling, packets are padded so
 that the combined lengths of the encoded packet number and protected payload is
 at least 4 bytes longer than the sample required for header protection.  The
-ciphersuites defined in {{?TLS13}} - other than TLS_AES_128_CCM_8_SHA256, for
+cipher suites defined in {{!TLS13}} - other than TLS_AES_128_CCM_8_SHA256, for

I tend to use ? where the reference is normative.

If you follow this discipline and remove the last normative reference, the right thing happens.  But I can't see that happening here, so this change is fine.

> +Because QUIC provides different capabilities than TCP, certain aspects of the
+TLS handshake are different when used with QUIC.

```suggestion
Certain aspects of the TLS handshake are different when used with QUIC.
```

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